My Prerogative

2010-02-03T08:02:00.003+08:00

2008-06-04T11:24:00.002+08:00

Such unforgettable and precious memories. All happened within my first year in NUS.

Can't wait for many more to come.

2008-05-12T03:32:00.002+08:00

Here's a short and sweet note to the most wonderful and sarcastic mother in the world:

Happy Mother's Day.

I will not embarrass you by posting up all these love messages you send me. I keep it safely in my phone and it serves as my emotion pillar.

Love you heaps and I DID NOT FORGET IT'S MOTHER'S DAY alright. Forgetting one important date is bad enough. ~~still wanna shoot myself for that~~

I now have 2 extra important dates to remember. Not that I'm complaining. =)

2008-05-10T08:27:00.001+08:00

In less than 11 hours I will be as free as a bird.

Exams, just f**k off for awhile alright?

Anyway, I have the loveliest morning greeting.

2008-05-04T13:37:00.004+08:00

I need to clear all the overwhelming thoughts in my head. Every second that passes by is a cruel reminder of how time is not on my side. If only the clock ceases to tick so it will stop stealing my time. If only I can savor the remaining time I have without having to worry about all the unanswered questions at the back of my head.

Advices from girlfriends I seek, but advices would not provide the answer. As I cocooned in the silent cell of mine, a voice tells me that I shall believe in my intuition. but my penchant for pessimism visits too frequently especially when things seem to be looking up. Perhaps I am just too afraid of the otherwise.

This fragile beating heart of mine is slowly losing its steady rhythm. I am the only one to be blamed for this, for I lack all the attributes I need in this situation. Soon, fatigue will take away all my energy to stay in the guessing game.

Unspoken signs, I hope I have not read you wrongly.

________________________

Got tagged.

8 things I'm passionate about:
1. My university involvement
2. Continue quest for inspirations
3. The great sense of achievement
4. Coffee (Starbucks!)
5. MNG, Guess, Forever 21 (will soon upgrade to Chanel, Gucci, and Prada when I can afford it)
6. Desserts (will pick a nice place with rich steaming coffee and good desserts over anything anytime)
7. Shoes
8. Handbags

8 things I say too often:
1. Fuck (yeah, I'm vulgar like that =p)
2. What the hell
3. Walao
4. Lol
5. Shit
6. I'm fat
7. I'm slacking
8. Crap

8 books I've read recently:
1. The Curious Incident of a Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
2. The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman
3. Runaway Juror by John Grisham
4. The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
5. House of God by Samuel Shem
6. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make A Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell
7. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
8. Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything

8 songs I could listen to over and over again:
1. Learn You Inside Out by Lifehouse
2. Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
4. Breathing by Lifehouse
5. Sleeping to Dream by Jason Mraz
6. Continuum by John Mayer*
7. Kiss Goodbye by LeeHom
8. Forever Love by LeeHom

8 things I learnt for the past year:
1. CAP does not reflect your self-worth
2. I don't need to care about those who do not care about me
3. I need to have more balls
4. Stay positive
5. Do not take love ones for granted
6. Do not judge people
7. Fight for what I want
8. Be less selfish and see things in a bigger perspective

2008-05-02T10:23:00.006+08:00

People go through mishaps and hardships in their lives, and all these unpleasant experiences result in them putting up a facade to protect themselves. The battle of mind games and manipulations, do we do all these to guarantee the upper hand or we, too vulnerable of a human being, are just too afraid to show who we really are?

Little gestures flutter my heart, the sweet smell submerges my senses, and simple words put a smile on my face. The fancy lingers but question is, how well prepared am I for this dangerous game?

I've been hurt before, yet I am willing to trust. At times I ponder, if I could be less forgiving and less trusting, will this save me from the pain that I may go through for believing in the wrong people?

2008-04-29T08:57:00.003+08:00

See my feet on the ground
But it feels like the worlds gravity drowned
When I'm with you I'm high

Instead of hiding my face
My minds in your eyes
Can your love embrace
Me as I am

In the silence you stare at the world
Your eyes are screaming to be heard
I want to learn you inside out

Time isn't on our side
All we have now
For the rest of our lives
Let's stay up all night

In the silence you stare at the world
Your eyes are screaming to be heard
I want to learn you inside out

All that changes is time
Can't keep you inside of me
You're out of my mind
I wear you on my sleeve
In the silence you stare at the world
your eyes are screaming to be heard
I want to learn you inside out

I see all that you want to be
Look into your soul
Looking right back at me
I want to learn you inside out

What happened when the unthinkable become thinkable? What happened when you're forced to react under certain circumstances? What happened when you have to take a leap of faith?

I don't know about you, but for me, I need courage.

the NLB team

2008-04-14T18:31:00.003+08:00

Start It: From Ground Zero

Grow It: Building A Sustainable Advantage

Nurture It: Workplace Strategies

We concluded the NLB series on a high note last week.

Kudos to the NLB team, high 5 everyone! We've grown so much as an individual and gain so much strength as a team, from struggling to accommodate each other's working style to breaking the ice and start appreciating the whole process. whatever it is, this NLB series has been a valuable experience for me, for I understand myself and the people around me better. Look forward to working with you guys again.

Afterparty at Wala-Wala

Can finally start mugging! maybe not...
Gotta stop visiting this place and consuming all the unnecessary extra calories before I transform into an elephant, a broke one. Also, need to stop making a fool out of myself in public and tarnishing my own image by fulfilling stupid dares. T.T

Not disclosing anything because quoting Vik, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." =p

2 more weeks to exam! I shall redeem myself this time around.

PS:
Happy 21st Birthday, Mini! Our beloved zai, geng, capable NES president and S@S vice lead. =)

21st Birthday Dinner

2008-04-09T21:14:00.002+08:00

NUS crunch time really isn't the most exciting period ever. We just finished our Semifinalist' Boot Camp and I've got 2 reports due within a week. Things are very hectic right now and I'm not in the mood to blog about anything after wrapping up a 3000 reports just hours ago.

Dinner at Essential Brew last Thursday.

Youjin, Chubs, moi, Ryan, James and Ning with An Nie's presence somewhere in the lovely restaurant.

Sinful Rainbow Indulgence. Yummy.

Before

After, with Malibu, Cosmo, and Singapore Sling in the system.
Made a bet with Vikram this Friday night, must not get drunk.

At Wala-Wala.

Back to 1000 words reflective paper.

Turning 21

2008-04-02T01:23:00.002+08:00

Thank you guys, for giving me such a memorable birthday. No words can describe how grateful I am to have you all as my family and friends. A big bear hug to everyone of you who took your precious time to call me up, IMed me on gtalk and MSN, and wrote on my facebook and friendster wall.

Here's some pictures before I get too lazy to post them up:

An early birthday celebration back in Rawang. Thanks to sis, bro, and my 3 lovely cousins for the MNG handbag. I dig MANGO! And mom for the beautiful pendant, dad for dinner, and uncles aunties for the generous ang pows.

Moi and the soon to be Birthday Boy.
Kenny and the rest made us ate a strawberry using only our mouths. Well, if it made you guys happy!

And thanks guys for the lovely surprise!
Big thank keeww to all of you who were present at the surprise party. =)

Last year my peeps back home got me a bikini, then this year my universities friends gave me a thong. Is that what you think of me, friends?!?

<3 this picture. My babes and I. Thanks for the dumbell, the thing only girlfriends will buy for each other.

Once a math major, forever a math major!

AMOGA gurls.

The WE-GOT-KICKED-OUT-FROM-PGP clan.

A lovely birthday card from Melissa! I love you baby, and this is so thoughtful of you! Although I hope i don't need the condom for now.

Thank you Yong Xin for walking all the way from Eusoff Hall to give me Tolberone Chocolate. More chocolates for me! Yay! =.= Hui Ning and Li En for calling me at 12.00am sharp. Subhen for your birthday wish all the way from London! Vignesh and Jin Ruy for the unexpected birthday gifts, very sweet of you. James for the heart warming 200words long essay. Kenny for trying to hard to make fun of me. I can't possibly name anyone of you (that will amount to 50 names) but do know that I feel nothing but gratitude towards you all!

See the Extraordinary in the Ordinary

2008-03-23T08:55:00.004+08:00

Apology for my quiescent! Before I start penning down my reflection for god knows how long in this pensive, allow me to reply Ai Ting's tag:

The Rules:-
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

Random Fact #1:
I'm addicted to Sex and the City. It dawns on me that my views in relationship is extremely similar to Charlotte's. Always in the quest of finding our price charming, someone who has to be perfect in every aspects. But then again, Carrie's Mr.Bigg is my favorite male character in this soap opera, who resembles the typical alpha male. I am a pretty dominating person myself, so i go on asking myself, "What is it that you find alpha male so attractive? Is it because you would like to be controlled or you just love the sense of achievement of taming an unattainable, arrogant guy?"

Random Fact #2:
Like Ai ting, I find guys without (any sense of) general knowledge unacceptable. I do not expect you to know every single details of what is going on in the world. But basic knowledge of the latest issues (Tibet protest, Msia GE, Bear Stearns crisis) are vital. If i read the Economist and Fortune, I expect my partner to do the same.

Random Fact #3:
Intelligence is the best asset anyone can possess. I notice I am naturally drawn to intelligent people, because i find them extremely interesting and attractive. You have no idea how much you can learn just by listening.

Listen like the ones speaking to you are kings. Listen with ten pair of eyes and with one heart.

Random Fact #4:
I am close to a workaholic. I hate knowing that I am unoccupied with work.

Random Fact #5:
I am less materialistic than most people think I am. Although loaded with orange notes (SDD$100 notes), living a luxurious lifestyle is enticing, but ultimately, what I am in search for is life fulfillment. Knowledge and experiences are the assets that no one can ever take away from me.

Random Fact #6:
Once being crowned as a Bread Freak, I am the new Post Maple Pecan Crunch cereal freak.

Random Fact #7:
I can't tolerate with loneliness. Loathe having lunch alone.

Random Fact #8:
Jann mentioned that I can win 'Tidiest Female Room in PGP". My mom will never ever believe that because I live in a mess at home.

-------------------------

For the past week, I have been feeling rather beaten for unknown reasons. Somehow all these efforts and hardwork I put in my work and studies seem to bear no fruits. In this competeitive game (NUS), will I forever be at the sidelines, a benchwarmer who has no chance to play against the giants?

I mentioned that I'm attracted to the intelligent population. Shall I stay away from them, for them to stop reminding me how mediocre i am?

But then, something amazing happened. Something that grants me the audacity and determination to continue to march towards the unknowns which encompasses indefinite possibilities.

I should be writing my part of the MNO group report. However, fear of losing these valuable insights which I've learned yesterday told me that report can wait.

Silicon Valley Mind Jam Session #2 @ Victoria Junior College (22/3/08)

Given one piece of cardboard filled with random letters each, we were told to write down what would big picture forms. My mind felt so blank that nothing creative surfaced.

The big picture.

Who would have thought a piece of insignificant random cardboard can be so significant when all these pieces come together?

This is about changing from the micro view to a macro perspective. It is discernible that each individuals have different perspectives, mentalities and backgrounds. Hence, we will never see the whole picture should we not unite and work together. This taught me the power of sharing. Contribute and share with others what we see in our own perspective in order to have a glint of the bigger picture. The importance of putting our selfishness aside and really come together to work towards a common goal.

Later we talk about innovation, enterprise and creativity.

"Sun, Moon, Lemon, and Earth."
Select the odd one out.

Many of us will choose Lemon. A 4 year old child will pick Earth. Why?

Because the other three are yellow in colour. Accumulated experiences robbed the inner child in us. We tend to be logical than creative. Hell, I am so anal in logic until I couldn't enjoy a fantasy movie in peace. Because I can't stop asking, "How is this possible?"

The thing is, nothing is impossible. It is our shallow mind that shut out the insane outrageous ideas, it is us who locked up our inner child like skeletons in the closet.

So how to ride the creative current?

Firstly, we need to face our fears. Success is not determined by measurements. Just like how I should stop measuring my achievements relative to others' achievements. I shall not conform to the failing stigma. Quoting Wai Loon, "The biggest failure is you've never failed before."

If I was to scribble all my fears on the mirror, will I have the courage to come face to face with them and overcome them? Is it IMPOSSIBLE, or is it I-AM-POSSIBLE? it really is just about changing of perspective.

Secondly, we need to believe in infinite possibilities. Adopt the speech of "Yes....And" instead of "No...But". When the odds are not in our favour, tell ourselves we can rather than giving in. Because we cannot choose our circumstance, but we can choose our attitude.

Watch this and check if your tear glands are working. And ask yourself, are possibilities finite?

I am inspired to realize my aspirations. I've learned the importance of sharing. Hence, I want to share all these with you, in hope that you take away something small but valuable after reading this post.

I want to bring all these learnings back to my family. I want to encourage my siblings, give them the motivation to chase their own goals.

Find the right perspective. Seek for the moment where we look at the normal, and see the extraordinary. Change the way we look in life, reframe our problems into opportunities. Tell yourself, you CAN.

2008-03-02T22:39:00.004+08:00

The Silicon Valley Expo team with our legacies imprinted on the wall.

I've signed up for a self-discovery road trip. I wish to be wiser, more passionate, and more self-driven in the future.

I'm going to SILICON VALLEY this June!!! yay!!!

Proud i am, to say that i've become less materialistic and less money minded ever since i joined NES. It really is about immersing in the right culture and mixing with the right people. I dare to say everyone in this Expo team, never have 'earning big bucks' rank first in their priority lists, but to do best in whatever they do, with the greatest passion, drive and enthusiasm. Dare to dream.

Of course, never forget to give back. Maybe i can start taking small steps like serving at the Haven behind my residence. Someone who's not a tech savvy like me who has no engineering degree, social entrepreneurship might just be my calling. Can't wait to discover what lies ahead of me.

Life is good now.

PS: Malaysians, please vote wisely! Stop whining and complaining about how our government is mistreating us. This is really the chance to make a change. To determine our own destiny, to pick our own government.

Happy Single Awareness Day

2008-02-17T22:27:00.002+08:00

First Stop: Ice-creams at Haegen Daaz

My babes and I. So glad that Ann Nie skipped her dance practice and joined us.

Followed by dinner at Cha Cha Cha Mexican Restaurant. Melissa as our Mexican food tutor, haha.

My big mouth and the wanton taco in disguise.

My chicken tail and I. Melissa was nicknamed chicken tail because the hairdresser cut her hair really short and it resembles a chicken tail when she ties her hair up.

Moi, Mel, Chubby, Xander, Ryan, babe, and Ann Ni.

My Singapore Sling was so good!

Hanging out at Eski Bar.

They had the lamest waiter ever. This guy took our cocktail order and said we can also order chicken tail, duck tail, etc. I want Wormtail!

The company that night was perfect, and it was the best Valentine I've ever spent. Except the fact that my mom messaged me telling me what a loser I am for not having a hot date and not receiving any flowers. =(

2008-01-31T11:13:00.000+08:00

Having successfully transferred to Business School is one of my biggest blessings. The lack of updates isn't because my life is too boring til there's nothing to blog about. Ironically, as it gets more enriching and exciting, blogging falls back at my priority lists.

But I promise to swarm you with my shameless pictures once I get back to Malaysia.

In the meantime, this is what I'm actively involved in:

It's an international business plan competition highly publicized all over Singapore. Don't hesitate to join if you have a absurd idea!

Credits to Marcus for the pictures.

2008-01-28T23:49:00.000+08:00

I'm still alive!

Will update when I'm not going to school nor doing my NES stuffs. (rather impossible)

On a light note: Heading back home this weekend! Yay!

2008-01-07T00:08:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday, Popo.
May you stay healthy and happy always. And of course, 'loaded'. Also more achievements from uncles and aunties so you can expand your archives to show off to your friends. =p

PS: I really really wish you'll the find the cure for the SEE-CHANYEEKIT-MUST-SCOLD-&-COMPLAIN disease soon. (chan yee kit is my mom, who is my popo's daughter and sometimes i wonder if my popo is born incapable of being nice to my mom)

I'm short! wtf

my cuckoo cousins and i

Comes in another 2 rascals

Carmen will kill me for posting this picture. *evil laughs*

I miss my long hair. Scott made fun of my bangs, dissed my highlights for not being obvious and said i only managed to increase the 'hot factor' by 0.1%. If you didn't buy me lunch that day i swear i would have retaliate. Also met up with Lik Kwang and Poh Yoke. Since LK and I both have fulgy hairstyle, and also my altruism, i'll spare you guys the pain. So, no pictures.

Will be back in Spore on the 10th. =(

2008-01-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

It hurts to feel repulsive and repugnant towards someone who's the closest to you. He is supposed to be respected and cherished, yet, every single thing he does makes everyone who loves him despises him.

I spent 2 weeks reading John Grisham's Runaway Juror, a fiction story about a trial between the tobacco company and a widow whose husband died of lung cancer, result of smoking 30 cigarettes in a day for almost 30 years. The plaintiff's attorney sent in multiple experts and researchers to explain to the jury how the components of a cigarette (tar, nicotine, carcinogen, etc) can cause lung cancer, and of course, death. While reading the story, I feel a lump in my stomach, i feel sick. Because, i can imagine how damaged his lungs are. He smokes the moment He opens his eyes, and He probably blows a puff before He goes to sleep every night. They all tried so many ways to ask Him to stop, but He never listens.

He told them he'll be happy to live until 60. That will be like 9 more years from now on? His carefree tone while making the statement got her so angry. Got her into thinking how selfish he is, because he doesn't care about the pain he will cause them for leaving them so early, and it never crosses his mind that She will be spending her older years all alone with no companion.

He smokes, drinks, and consumes high cholestrol foods like nasi lemak. How can one trashes his own health like the way he does? they tried to get him to exercise, but he will rather spend his free time playing mahjong. And his gamble habits really send them to the boiling point. It reaches a point where the younger one is having a cold war with him, and She stops sharing stuffs with him. He plays until he misses family dinners. He doesn't care if they are back from Melaka and Singapore and 6 of them can finally sit down and have a hearty meal together. He fucking rather plays until it passes dinner time and come home to eat alone. Time spent with the mahjong kakis are longer the time he spent with them. She despises his mahjong buddies, they are nothing but fuckers who contribrute nothing to the society. They do not care if their kids are loitering in the streets, they do not care if their business is running, they are happy as long as there are cigarettes to smoke and mahjong to play.

She dreams of lying on the green pasture in the Cambridge University campus. She hopes to enjoy a cup of steaming coffee under the Eiffel Tower. she believe if her siblings and her work hard enough, they can make Her dreams come true. And that of course, will have to be a couple of years later after they've launched our careers. she also believe that She loves Him very much, and it will be perfect for them to travel together. But she knows, he will choose mahjong over a tour in Europe with Her. Plus, with him damaging his own health with absolutely no awareness at all, she's really afraid that how much longer his body can survive.

When she first came back, she noticed her younger sister grows significantly closer to Her. The sight of this warms her heart. But his relationship with them are falling apart. It's just the 2 of them at home, why can't he spends more time with them?

Is gambling really so blardy important? Is this so called hobby of yours worth losing your family over?

51 this year and how much older do you need to get to realize what is more important in life? Health, love, and family or mahjong, beers and cigarettes? You get mad because the kids stand behind Her whenever you have conflicts. But you don't realize that the fact that She spends most of Her time with them draw them closer together.

How do you expect others to love you when you don't even know how to love yourself?

Happy 2008!!!

2008-01-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

Say goodbye to 2007 and lets welcome the year 2008 with our open arms.

I'm not going to spoil your new year by telling you guys about my disastrous beginning of '08.

Countdown was spent with 2 girlfriends who i've known for at least 15 years. Definitely meaningful, because we crazee bunch know how to have fun, AND TO AVOID THOSE EVIL SPRAYING CANS WHICH HAVE NO EYES.

Yup, we went back to Caryn's flat untainted with paints and foams, except once while we were on our way to the monorail, this stupid ah beng saw us and started spraying foams at the 3 of us, claiming that we were 'too clean'. Wtf. But thank God it was nothing serious.

Consider us as lucky because 2 of Caryn's flatmates have their handphones stolen and another 2 girls kena raba. Walao, if I was molested I will sure turn around and give the guy 2 tight slaps. I have no qualms asking a guy to fuck off when he cut my queue while we were sardined in the monorail station, I will damn make sure that guy paid for what he did if he has the guts to touch my arse.

High school friends. Moi, Ai Ting, Caryn and Lim

Me and Lim with his latest style = geek.

We spent RM11.50 for our masks and tools! We wanted it so badly and those were compliments if you buy anything from the restaurants in Pavilion. So we went Starbucks and bought 3 drinks just for the compliment gifts.

The night was spent playing card games with Caryn's housemates. 6 soon to be doctors, i better start networking with them. Haha.

Lunch with Winnie and my Xin Gan, Li En at Madam Kwan's and Secret Recipe.

And now i'm going to do a meme. =) It's long so be prepared.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
A breakup, rock climbing, stepping into a university

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
didn't make any last year

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?
That was 2 years ago, but...

5. What countries did you visit?
Singapore lo. zzz

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Extra time during the semester. A hotter body. Direction. A definite goal in life.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Hmm...let me think...don't really have any so far

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Straight As for STPM and enrolled in NUS

9. What was your biggest failure?

My relationship and my CAP

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thank God no

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My 3rd generation iPod nano and my latest MacBook. *grins*

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Myself. Im the loudest and I make sure everyone is having fun besides myself.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Our government. And some losers that wiggle into my life. Sometimes my grandmother can be quite appalling as well. Haha...=p

14. Where did most of your money go?
Clothes, Post Maple Pecan Crunch and Subway Melt.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Alot of things. I'm easily excited.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Jordin Sparks' This Is My Now

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
sadder, thinner, and poorer. I'm broke and fat!!!!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Studying, reading

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying, procrastinating

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Annual Xmas lunch at Aunt Francis' place.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I fell out.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Prison Break. Michael Scofield is one piece of fine species.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a harsh word.

24. What was the best book you read?
Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
How come i only come to appreciate John Mayer and Michael Buble last year? They rock man

26. What did you want and get?
STPM 4.0 which i realized didnt mean a thing in NUS

27. What did you want and not get?
A better CAP and a hotter body. I want a new handbag, didn't get that either.

28. What was your favorite film this year?
300

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
Parents had a birthday party for me and I spent my 20th birthday with Ee Ling. Watched 'Perfume'.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Managing my time better in my first semester

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Hmm...alot of dresses.

32. What kept you sane?
My family and my friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Justin Timberlake. He's still hawwt. I don't care if i sound like a teeny bopper.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
HINDRAF and the assasination of Benazir Bhutto.

35. Who did you miss?
My f6 classmates and my grandpa.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I met alot of amazing people and i'm blessed to have them in my life

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Dream big and chase it. The world is getting uglier and sometimes we have no choice but to go against our principles to survive.

2007-12-27T21:52:00.000+08:00

I am currently having my last dose of caffeine before i embark on a 'i want to get fit not unhealthily thin' diet. Hopefully my puritanical spirit will persist until my body actually become fit.

Although i highly question if it's possible. Bonnie did say i'm 'to fu ren' afterall.

Please flabby flesh, go away!!!

Besides thinking of new year resolutions which i don't intend to keep (not that i didn't try) let me tell you stories of evil people who manipulate others' kindness.

One morning, a phone call woke Lily while she was still in deep slumber.

"Hi! guess who am i?" the stranger said.
"Er...mary?" she mumbled groggily.
"Yeah, mary here! hey, you know what, i got into a car accident and i'm stuck in the hospital. will you come to visit me?" a tone of sadness could be heard across the line.
"Oh my god, are you ok?"
"I'm ok, but it will really means alot to me if you can come and visit you know,"
"I'm so so so sorry, i'm tied up with alot of commitments right now. but if you do need any help, i'll try my best to help you alright?"
"Sigh...i need to call my family. is it ok if you reload for me?"
"Of course! how much do you need?"
"RM200?"

Coincidentally, Lily has been neglecting this friend recently, so she felt guilty for not taking care of this friend, mary like how she used to last time. So she felt compelled to help her out in her helpless position. Then Lily went to ATM and tekan RM200 to reload for Mary. Plus, the real Mary has history of borrowing money from Lily before. Eventhough Lily was told about stories where strangers con people through phone calls, but it didn't strike her as her rationale was clouded by guilt. Only at night she realized something was wrong but it was already too late.

An hour ago i got an unknown number calling me. The malay dude over the line kept on asking me, "Dah makan ke belum."

"Eh, dah makan ke belum?"
"Har?"
"Dah makan ke belum?"
"U nak cari siapa?"
"Dah makan?"

He blardy asked me 5 to 6 times this question while everytime i replied, "You nak cari siapa." He failed to come up with a name and just answered, "U lah."

I got irritated and asked him, "KENAPA YOU KISAH SAYA DAH MAKAN KE BELUM? YOU NAK CARI SIAPA?"

Then he hung up on me. What the fuck. If it was a wrong number, he could have just said salah nombor, instead of asking me dah makan ke belum for gazillion times. If he was thinking of conning me, sorry la, you found the wrong person.

Defeated

2007-12-26T13:29:00.000+08:00

Despite knowing the imminient death which awaited me last night, i managed to keep the jitters to a minimum. At least, conciously. Trying my best to convince myself that any grades will suffice, since i will never get to change it anyway.

That was before i went to bed.

I had 2 consecutive dreams about my results. And i did not fare well in any of these 2. Come to think of it, it's a good thing you know. At least my fucked up dreams didn't get my hopes up.

Tried to sleep in late desperately this morning, to avoid having to wait for the hours to tick by in vain. Results were unveiled the moment the clock striked 11am.

Sweet dreams never come true. But nightmares do.

NUS once again slapped stupidity across my face, with its brilliant plebeians diligently nailing the message, 'You Are Stupid' into my head while she sat opposite me and laughed in front of my face.

Maybe not stupid, just relatively stupid.

The journey of my remaining years in NUS feels like a labyrinth right now. With me feeling lost, swaying around with no specific directions. A blurry big question marks lies ahead of me; besides working harder (which clearly wasn't enough), i don't know what else should i do in my next semester. what strategies shall i apply so i wouldn't have to go through another 4 months of 5 hours shut eye per day and be rewarded with a pathetic result at the end.

People kept telling me it's ok, it's just the first semester. Most of them knew better than me, because they went through the exact same thing. They should also realized that whatever the others say will never make you feel better. It won't stop the little part of me from dying. It will never cure my deflated ego. So what if i have a big ego, i've always have an enormous ego which feeds on victories. one will say it's time to tune down the size of my ego, but i really don't care right now. I didn't choose to be a perfectionist.

I was once cool, composed and strong. and now you took all these essence away from me. Why? Are you going to slowly take away my hope and faith too? The two intangible elements which i kept holding on before wanting to disappear from the face of earth?

It pains to not get what you deserve after putting so much effort in it. Utterly throws your heart to the ground, with you watching helplessly at the side while the vultures feed on every piece of your flesh.

I don't want to be just another number.

I don't want to be associated with mediocrity.

I'm sick of people asking me how's my results. because im sick of typing the word 'BAD' on my keyboard.

Thank you Thomas, for being a good listener. it's so ironic having you comforting me while you and your family are going through things that's million times harder than mine. Unlike some who are only capable of talking about themselves, with no consideration of other people's feeling. Yeah, that will be me. But good things happen to good people, and i believe great things lie ahead of you.

My application to school of business is successful. New challenge next semester, doesn't mean any easier.

Thomas told me,
"Be at peace with your decision and fight."

2007-12-25T08:49:00.000+08:00

Christmas was spent at my aunt's place like every other year. After a round of boisterous and sinful lunch (think about ham, spaghettis, caramel cheesecake, vodka, and the list goes on), the adults will be gambling their heads off. Chinese family, what to do? The only 2 things we do in every single occasion are 1. EAT and 2. GAMBLE.

The kids are usually left unattained in the living room, so we bought our own poker cards to play a few rounds as well. =p

Then, there was camwhoring.

Carmen found a lolipop, and everyone went berserk.

My mother wins hands down.

Mom was deprived of candy during her childhood days. =.=

__________________________________________________________
Celebrating Xmas is not my family's tradition, but i believe Santa is a very very very generous man as he will try his best to grant everyone's wishes right? Plus, i've gone through so much in 2007 guess i deserve something good in return as well, right Santa?

So santa, here's my wish list! Don't worry, very short only wan.

For mommy, please bring her perpetual health and a new designer handbag (LV, Gucci, Guess, Chanel, anything of these will do =) ) and a pen that will mark all her students' composition in split seconds.

For daddy, please make him hate smoking, gambling and nasi lemak! That will give him his life back, you know.

For sister, 8As in PMR!

For brother, magic weight loss pills and an original M.Utd jersey.

For grandma, perpetual health as well, also the pills that will make her stop yelling at us every chance she gets. And stop accusing the maid for stealing her glasses, hurting her feet by excess usage of detergent...=.=

For Carmen, a good job to launch her career. And her diet to be successful.

For Cassie and Callie, anything from Forever21 and Topshop will do.

For Ning, her old model-like body back. Photographic memory so she can hafal all her Physio and Anat on time.

For Annie, a normal love life.

For Ee Ling, please give her the courage to make the decision that she's afraid to make.

For Ai Ting, please give her some extra funds for her Cambodia trip.

For Caryn, please bring her a new pair of Sony earphones and possibly some magic weight loss pills with zero side effect.

For Chien, the advent of her prince charming. She can sing True Love's Kiss very well, i can vouch for her!

For Irene, another 24 hours in a day perhaps?

For Hui Wen, please let the game she's designing be the next big thing.

For Li En, alot of new clothes.

For Ping Tine, alot of new clothes, and shoes and accessories. Buy her the whole cat Whiskers if you can.

For Sean, the solution to his never ending P and NP or whatever it is called.

For Kai Lin, stop having people excused him as 'fisherman'.

For Jun Yen, the new Play Station (did i get it right?) he has always wanted.

For James, any Apple products will do.

For Vincent, please help him to move on, with no additional pain. hell, just erase me from his memory.

Now, my turn! wee~

Haven't gotten any news regarding my transfer to BBA program, i want to get in desperately you know, Santa.
A new Macbook pro will be nice.
Also! Some weight loss please, i'm not asking for a body like Heidi Klum, i'm content with something like Eva Longoria's. I think around 4kgs suffices.
Some guides to managing my time better in NUS. Oh yeah, a higher CAP. Possibly above 4.0.
Designer handbag and purse, tops and dresses from MNG, Forver21 and GUESS.
Funds to go for Student Exchange and Silicon Valley, for the latter, i need to be selected first before i have the chance to go.
I want to ask for a bigger pair of eyes, but that's unnatural and superficial, so i won't wish for that. If only i can be fairer too...

That's all for this year, Santa. Don't worry about the stocking ya, i've got it covered. It can sure fit all the pressies inside. I will be extremely appreciative over your generosity and kindness.

Have a good christmas!

Lots of love,
xc

A Day @ Camp5

2007-12-22T02:25:00.000+08:00

It's fun to be surrounded by adventurous people who always have the adrenaline pumping and keep your energy going. I just realized i've given Ee Ling alot of my firstS! First time making sushis, baking cakes and now,

ROCKCLIMBING!

Spent a whole day with Ee Ling at Camp5, One Utama with her friend, Alex; along with another 2 of his friends, Jason and Kok Meng.

My arms feel like they are going to detach from my sockets right now. ><

First timer is supposed to be granted free entrance. unfortunately we decided to go on a public holiday, resulting in me forking out RM29 for a 6hours stay in the camp. Alex was our host of the day, teaching we 2 girls a thing or two about rock climbing and belaying. Host is not supposed to leave his/her guests out of their sight, so he had to layan us for the whole day. haha.

knowing full well that my arms are like jello with strengths of a baby, i was rather nervous in the beginning. so malu lah, if i couldn't even climb A SINGLE WALL. Some more i was abit shy lah, embarassing myself in front of 3 guys who i've just met wasn't a very pleasing thought. And having a harness stuck to your crotch while trying to fit your blardy feet into a pair of shoes that's 2 sizes smaller didn't help either.

but with ee ling's words of encouragement, i muster up my courage and took my first climb.

And i reached the top!!! Whoo hoo! Don't care if it's the easiest wall in the gym, the point is, i finished my climb. =)

Did 4-5 climbs in total, while Ee Ling did 7? Haha...that girl is amazing, coordinating her flexible limbs perfectly. even the guys were impressed by her performance.

Even kids can do it.

Concentrating on our knots.

sorry for tainting your eyes with my ugly legs, next time i'll remember to wear long pants. wtf

the limber girl in action

didn't manage to conquer any of these walls. Next time, I WILL.

Our host, Alex.

Jason (left) and Kok Meng a.k.a Cock. We went yumcha later that night and i found out that all 3 of us like Michael Buble and John Mayer. =) we'll be great karoke buddies! and the most surprising thing i learn about jason is he cooks and bakes. Who would have thought macho man who enjoys mountain biking and rock climbing can cook and bake? What do we call this? Supreme package ar?

Despite Chubby numerous attempts to warn me from watching I AM LEGEND, i still watched in anyway. The movie was alright, abit draggy in the beginning, the middle somehow still feels like the beginning. Climax was TOO SHORT la, and abit cheesy as well. but Will Smith's marvelous acting skills compensated everything.

1U has really pretty Xmas decoration. A giant Nutcracker sitting in the middle of the stage with another few of them at the side.

Spent 4 hours in Old Town White Coffee, Kepong today catching up with Xin Yan and Kah Hsiung. Feels good to make new friends while meetinging up with old friends at the same time. I always have a blast with Ee Ling. Dear angel, hope you will have the courage to overcome every obstacles that come your way. You will have all my support in whatever decision you make. Remember that sometimes one's gotta take a leap of faith.

My bed beckons,
Before signing off, HAPPY DONG ZHI everyone!

2007-12-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

Everything about home utterly sends me to nirvana, from quality chats with my beloved family members, to planning meetups with all my long lost friends who are scattered all over west and east malaysia...ain't holidays sweet?
(to my darlings T6ers who are engaged in endless various commitments, please try to squeeze me in your schedules kayz =( )

Except...

My evil scale which resides in the dining room since dad bought it 5 years ago gave me a horrifying reality check. A whopping 4kgs gain since i went to NUS! T.T wtf wtf wtf, what happened? I exercised in uni more than i can remember in my life and it's not like singapore has the best food around til i can't control myself from binging, so people, tell me what really went wrong.

A little recap on the past few days. The rest of the week in campus was spent helping out a few friends on an IBM Business competition. Had my first taste of telemarketing and lets just say it's not the most exciting job in the world. Besides it being monotonous, most of the attempts are futile til you get jaded and numb of people turning you down. But since the two of the most briliant friends i've known are in this team, i am postivie that they are going to win hands down. And i get a treat! =)

Youth Boot Camp went on without a hitch! Wouldn't say i had a blast but it was definitely a learning experience for everyone of us. We invited a couple of good speakers to educate students from polytechnics and junior colleges about fundamental skills of starting a business of their own.

Never was I a facilitator before, i was responsible for 6 kids. I tried my best to motivate them, give them valuable and constructive advices, but unfortunately, my team sorta failed to come together. Perhaps, it's my poor leadership skills which have so much more to be improved on, or it could be that the kids in my team (it's called elmo by the way) are totally in different radars. Signaling in a different wavelength which do not coincide. ><

From top left: Ivan, Marcus, fugly me, Amy, JinJing and Junbo. Half of the marketing rocks!

Startup@Singapore Youth Boot Camp 2007

After the first day of YBC, i went dinner with Marcus, Junbo and Ivan. Some quality time with my collegues where we chit chatted about random stuffs, from politics to our plans for the 2nd semester. No work invovled! =) I found out that Marcus wants to venture into social entrepreneurship, to have his own buisness while helping the disables at the same time. He really is a good man, where once he told me he hates politics and refuses to badmouth anyone, he also gives almost everyone full score in our peer review! And then there's Ivan, he is like the new superman la. He gives so much to NES and also in the University Scholar Programme, already planning a trip to Phillipines to do voluntary work next semester, he could still find time to participate in a 42km marathon. And!!!! He reads China history and learns about the evolution of Darwin. People like this often leave me in awe, and i put my hats off to them with deep admiration, wishing that somehow i can be like them one day.

I vow not be a headless chicken with no specific directions to run to in my second semester. More deligent i will be, with better time management i can discover more oppurtunities. Hopefully, greater heights can be achieved to make my parents and myself proud.

Rushed to Glendon's birtday party right after the YBC and only started packing after i came back from the night out. I realized i can never keep myself free for even a day. =s

First time attended a friend's birthday part in a function room. Singapore lah, no land.

The babi-lons reunite!

Happy Belated Birtday Glenmachine! You're a bundle of fun and you'll never beat me in the pinching nose game. wahaha~

__________________________________________________________

Went karoke with cousins today. Had a great time catching up with these 3 lovely ladies i grew up with. What's so fun about hanging out with them is i don't have to pretend to be someone who i'm not, heck, i wouldn't even care if i publically fart in front of them. we murdered most of the songs with our terrible falsetto without having to be feel embarrased, we share our cutleris not fearing each other might have Hepatits C, we joked and reminisced about our never bitter but sweet childhood memories. I love you, cuzzies.

Tea break at Baskin Robin cafe. No more ice-cream starting from tomorrow! Really wan!

And a super belated birthday shoutout to my big big Carmen Jie Jie...
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY!

I tried to rush back and make it for your 21st birthday bash, but luck was not on my side. sigh. 21 already, i'm still waiting for you to break just ANY ONE rule and do something outrageous. *taps fingers* You're a selfless being that never fails to win hearts of everyone. You're our favourite cousin who take care of everyone, from sending grandma and i to the wet markets and train station to washing the dishes for us. =p i still remembered those days where you and the twins would hang out at our place, and i always bullied you and you'll go sulked on the couch and complained to your dad later at night. thank god you grow out of it!

Finally a graduand (3 months older than me but 3 years ahead of me?!? wtf?) and will be looming into the corperate world in early 2008. All the best with the year-end files and accouting books! And most importantly, don't forget the first pay cheque treat.

Mwah!~

2007-12-12T14:12:00.000+08:00

Please spare some of your drama or dota time to visit JeffOoi.com and watch the videos yourself.

2007-12-11T21:20:00.000+08:00

It has been raining EVERY SINGLE DAY. Freaking sien, stupid weather is not on my side, i'm supposed to be on an intensive diet plan! Hello! Pouring every afternoon ain't helping me here...=.=

I had my interview to transfer to BBA program today. The vice deans bombarded me with some pretty tough questions. First, he asked me what was my conception on leadership. I told them a leader should be able to influence people, must not be afraid of changes. Guess the word 'changes' led them to ask me a series of questions that caught be off guard. He wanted to know what was the last book i read which inspired me, i said Tuesdays with Morrie by mitch albom. It reminded me of my grandfather and it taught me to realize there's more important things in life other than money and material stuffs. Then he went on asking me regarding my ultimate goal, what do i really want in life.

Walao, what's with the 20 questions? I thought i'm supposed to have an open ended question like, "tell me about yourself,", "Why not math? why business?" which i had my answers scribbled on my notepad and had the script memorized in my head.

The other asked me what do i think of the law that the government has imposed on the people. Why do we have to wear safety belt? Why does the government order us to wear the safety belt? The answer is quite trivial right? I thought i'm applying to enter NUS Business School but i get questions regarding about the laws. Then stupid me go put my foot inside my mouth and mention freedom of speech. Soon i get questions like do the people in singapore have freedom of speech? what is the degree of freedom of speech in your own country compare to singapore? >< am i supposed to degrade my own country and kiss singapore's ass? both have poor and pathetic degree of freedom of speech alright. after that, i have to tell them a local firm which impresses me the most. i told them Genting Berhad. Cross your fingers, your toes for me!!! lets hope i can transfer to business school successfully. *pray hard*

Anyway, here's pictures of our one day trip to Sentosa.

This python weighs 20kgs!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!!

Freedom never taste better

2007-12-04T14:36:00.000+08:00

bad news: i wouldn't be back til 16th Dec. Stuck here for another week. =(

eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep eat play sleep ...

Oops, i got too carried away with my holidays plan. *smile sheepishly* Ahah, that will be my habitual routine for the rest of the holidays, definitely exciting (come on, i aint gonna complain about being bored anymore knowing what Semester 2 has in store for me) but all these plans are also lethal to my wallet. T.T

Saturday marked the last day of my first semester in NUS.

Our Calculus lecturer, clad in his casual green Tshirt, my coursemates and i. I am so gonna miss his classes. He won all our hearts with his dedicated teaching skills and adorable smile. hope he takes home the teaching excellance award. We all voted for ya!

Ironically, besides the jubilation feeling that washed over me, turned out all i ever wanted to do was cuddle underneath my cozy blanket and sleep. Yeah, had been lethargic for the past few days, busy recuperating and compensating the sleeps i loaned during the exam period. (yea, a feeble excuse for a sloth like me)

Before i flood you with our merdeka decadence and endless tomfoolery camwhoring pictures, lets recap a little on what i've learnt in the past 4 months.

Can't find a more suitable analogy to describe my stay here in NUS except it being a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes i am at the highest high, but before i knew what lies ahead, i plummeted into the lowest low. I still remembered myself going into a depression, where i broke down in tears everytime mom called. It was after my first mid-term that i've never felt so defeated before in my entire life. The truth is, being the control freak i've always been, i hate the fact that i wasn't in control of what i was doing.

Perhaps, time is what i need right now. To really adjust to the lifestyle here, as time passes as fast as bullet train, you've got to hold on to every single second you have. The semester finished as though in a blink of an eye, where i barely knew what i was studying. Barely had enough time to really absorb what was learnt, boom! the next thing you know, you're compromising your sleep to cram whatever that you don't even understand for the whole study week. after 7days of cooping in the small 4a project room with the rest, i found myself sitting in the freezing Multi Purpose Hall where the tension was so high it could be cut off by a knife, frantically scribbling and smearing blue ink across the white sheets of papers.

I think i did pretty ok for my papers, but whether it suffices to score 3.5 remains as a big question mark. I know i am not eligible to claim the brightest star, but do i even have what it takes to reach for the less brighter ones?

But i know this vacant life of mine, will be a blank canvas no more. It has become a work of art, because of those around me who have painted it so beautifully. they deserve a standing ovation, for their unwavering support and encouragement, for helping me to disentangle from the emotional turmoil.

Sean a.k.a pfalcon
Sean, although this might sound a bit sissy to you but you're truly an angel. Any of our coursemates will nod their head in agreement if i say you're the most helpful and benevolent person in the world. Youngest among all, you took care of us all. You and your brilliant head of yours, work out the most amazing mathematic solutions ever. eventhough you can choose not to come to our study group to babysit us who are shamefully 2 years your senior, you came to almost every single one of our study groups.

Thanks for being my study partner throughout the whole exam week. Thanks for the coffee, thanks for the warm water, thanks for endless math explaination to clear my questions. For the past weeks, I've known you better as a person, your random comments funny antics really tickle my funny bone.

You're like a brother to me, pfalcon. =)
~~ignore my fugly face~~

Kai Lin a.k.a Baltic
Hey, i know i've been a little nuisance to you ever since UFO2. After accompanying my mom and i to vivo city, you still had to deal with me after semester started. You're another wonderful guy who i bombard math questions to throughout the whole semester. like i said, you will easily ace the modules i took if you were to take it next semester.

Thanks for tutoring me til 3am in the morning before my Econs paper. Without you, i am pretty sure that my econs paper will be doomed. ~~not as if im gonna get an A for this module now~~ and many many more nights where you were forced to solve my tutorial questions, til handwriting of yours were common sights on my tutorials. Haha.

I will repay your kindness by teasing you less. Promise!

Jonathan Ye
I know you're going to be rather surprised to see your name here. Anyway, just wanna thank you for what you've done for me throughout our whole GEM course. Although i've only known you for approximately 2 months, but somehow i feel like the things i owe you will take a lifetime to repay back. As i get to learn more about you, your attributes shine even brighter. Such wiseman you are, never failed to extend a helping hand when i need one. You said, "I will help you if you don't give up," your encouraging words really touched my heart. Thanks for all the advices you've given me, including how to cheat in exams. *wink* Thanks for helping me out so much in my assignment, for taking the trouble to print it out for me and even handed in to the lecturer for me. I owe you big time. You're one of a kind to be admired.

To those whose names are not mentioned, but took care of me in my 4months stay here in NUS, thank you. You guys keep me sane in this kiasu land.

From left: Sean, Kenny, Siow Chuen, Su Ann, Kai Yee, Kim Chui, Xu Sheng, Horace the 'whore', Kai Lin and moi

Making out in public! Hor!!!
No la, it's a forfeit where they had to unfold a piece of paper using only their mouth. It was super hilarious, shall not put up the video since Kai Yee is still very much single and available.

The one in white (middle) was the only sesat E&E major.

My awesome-est coursemates

It's the integral sign!

Enjoying tong sui at Bugis the next day.

Fresh milk steamed egg. Wai Kit said it tasted like egg tart.

Rock sugar white fungus with papaya

Karaoke session @ Clementi

4hrs of belting out songs ranging from Jay Chou to Michael Learns to Rock was tiring yet awesome

My 'wet' kaki since the moment we're done with finals.

Followed by another night out at Ministry of Sound (MOS)

a giant disco ball sitting in the middle of the dance floor

Isaac, kai yee, syin thian, siyun, moi and wai in.

me, jann, and chubs.
Chubby is not chubby anymore!

Nic and I

Jun Yen is not chubby anymore

A toast to a more exciting singlehood, the end of a not so fantastic semester, and hopefully, a better lovelife. =)

Only left us at 3am in the morning.

2007-11-30T07:47:00.000+08:00

In less than 48hours...

FREEDOM.
Thou shall embrace me.

I can have my life back soon!
And of course, let the fierce intensive diet begins! Swimming, jogging, badminton, you name it, i'll do it.

2007-11-12T18:47:00.000+08:00

I google talked to jonathan this morning, my Real Estate tutorial group leader who's a singaporean himself, on how ugly the world is turning into. it seems like we're getting out of control where things just continue to fall apart, and we will be forever trapped in this turmoil.

Everything is castatrophic.
Pakistan, Burma and Thailand are sad, because their government takes away their human rights.
Singapore is sad, because on the surface, it seems like they are democratic, but the people are not allowed to have freedom of speech. But Singapore is not as sad as Burma, Pakistan and Thailand, at least they are rich.
Malaysia is moderately sad and moderately poor, that makes the whole situation even more saddening since we are nothing but mediocre, and our people are complacent about being mediocre.

Reading Pinkpau's latest entry sent goosebumps through my whole body.
We had a rally. ~~Aha, we just added a few extra chapters in Sejarah for the future generations, that is, if this peaceful demonstration makes a difference.~~

What is the objective behind such demonstration? Are the rakyat doing the right thing? Or should we just put all our trust in the government?

Election is coming up next year.
This really is time for us to stop swallowing whatever that is being fed to us, and start seeing things beyond the surface, and judge every thing critically before we become victims like the Pakistanis.
Think about V for Vendetta, and Prison Break, if you watch any of these.

I felt so proud of our people back home who joined the walk, who had the courage to speak out. I feel less negative knowing that there are people out there who are willing to fight for our rights, fight for our country so we do not continue to be plagued by poor and weak governance. perhaps, there is still hope afterall.

Enough of soliciting, corruption and bootlegging we say, time to put all this craps to an end.
(Wth, am i kidding myself?)

My hat off to you, BERSIH, and our people with such admirable and honourable spirits.

MSL should have worn yellow on that day and paint NUS partially yellow. =s

Shame on our mainstream media. Cowards. We don't buy the smiles of our politicians and their words anymore, we demand the truth, we deserve the truth.

Shame on me too, what have i ever done as a rakyat? what do i have to contribute to my country? To whoever that is reading this, please ask yourself the same question.

Time to get out of our comfort zone. Time to make a difference.
______________________________________________________________________________
Last month, NES Youth Outreach invited Miss Merry Riana, one of 4 youngest female millionaire in Singapore to give us a series of workshops about Influence Mastery. My team learnt about Marketing & Presentation, Communication Skills, etc. Initially, i felt that the workshops were abit dry and technical for my liking. Later i realized i could really utilized the skills i learnt in real life, like how to build rapport with someone we've just met.

Few weeks ago I went to Temasek High School with my 2 collegues, Dhawal and Yifan to meet up with Temasek High's Entrepreneur Club's teacher in charge, Mr Lim, hoping to liase with them and ask the students to join our events. It was my first time presenting Startup to someone, so i was rather nervous. after the talk, Dhawal told me i forgot to build rapport! I straight away jumped in to the whole Startup presentation without getting to know more about their club and their visions. ><

I have a millionaire friend. Fuyoh.

NES Youth Outreach+Merry. Our last workshop for the semester. Can't wait for what the next semester has in store for us!

Among the 5 workshops i've attended, the most interesting one will be the last session. Where Merry talked about her entrepreneurship journey. How she achieved success with her great teachability and unwavering determination. Merry earned her first million at the age of 26.

After she celebrated her 20th birthday, merry made a resolution. She vowed to reach financial freedom by the age of 30, to have constant passive income and will be able to pay off all her study loans by then. I chuckled at the thought of that. "Why? is it too short, or too long?" she asked.
"Too short." I replied.

Turned out majority of the house want to be millionaires by the age of 30. Of course, i believe my friends can do it, because they are all extremely brilliant and credible. For me, i think there's things in life that are equally important as money as well. And like what i've said before, everything is a trade-off. Am i willing to trade certain things i treasure for money?

Ironically, i didn't leave the workshops as an even more money minded person. Ambitious, i am. Who doesn't want to have endless flow of income? Who doesn't want to own a collection of LVs and Guccis? But what are the sacrifices that comes along with it?

I asked Merry a question.
"What if, after all our persuits, we realized that the thing we wanted the most, cannot be bought using money? Where we initially thought it could?"

She can only tell me that, at the end of the day, it only comes down to what we really want in life and what is our purpose in life.

Honestly,
I do not want to forego my soul, in exchange of wealth.

Life,
is so complicated.
__________________________________________________________________
2 Stress Balls and a Night Out @ Clark Quay.

Melissa suggested we take a break from studies and spend an hour at Clark Quay for a drink with some good music. I was abit disappointed when this Pakistani who's trying to go after Mel tagged along. He had been harrassing her for awhile (she said so herself, haha) and after turning him down for the gazillionth time, she felt bad and finally asked him to tag along.

Us at IndoChine. See my butterfly necklace? *grins*

No jazz music that night since the bar charges $20 covercharge. Walao, want my purse to bleed ar. But i did have a cocktail and Haagen Dazs! Debaucherries with high oppurtunity cost. ><

One more thing before i end this post. THES University Ranking for 2007 is released, and our local universities dropped out of top 200. To the vice chansellors and ministers, stop giving us lame excuses and solve the problem! At the mean time, allow me to laugh at your ugly faces. Go on being ignorant until Malaysia faces severe braindrained.

2 more weeks and i have loads of things still pending. Miracles, shall thee appease me.

2007-11-05T01:03:00.000+08:00

Its the advent of the 'season' once again, where there's the overdose of caffeine accompanied by endless hours of mugging til one loses track of day and night. Meals with friends are replaced by take aways, lights in study rooms, function rooms, and project rooms are on til the wee hours. It never truly hit me until i passed by a dustbin in one hallway overflooded with white polestrene boxes.

Tonight, the moon hides. Thunder strikes and raindrops hit against my window pane. The night couldn't be anymore perfect for me to nestle under my blanket, fall into a deep slumber and dream about prince charming. But i ended up injecting more caffeine into my system and studying Income-Expenditure Model. feel awfully frustrated today, bet the PMS must be hitting me again, also partly due to the inedible plus expensive food in PGP. As i was walking to the study room this evening, dark clouds engulfed the already gloomy and lifeless residence, and as i looked up to the sky, i saw white sheets of math question papers hovering over me! Ah, the wonders of stress, and what it is capable to do to my drowsy spirit.

Life is on pause right now.
Yet, ironically, time passes by so fast i feel like im on the fast forward button.
Yeah, i'm not making sense.

In 3 weeks. Hell strikes.

I am applying to transfer to NUS Business School. I think Math has had the last of me. I admit, i am throwing in the white towel. Although, i am going to miss my coursemates. I have fun in every single one of our study group. Sean, you rock buddy, better than our dean listed tutors! Kenny, you bring a smile to everyone's face. Su Ann, our responsible class monitor, without you the group wouldn't have sustained, Kim Chui, the one who has 'Please Attack Me' branded on his forehead. Horace, my midnight jogging buddy. And me, the oppurtunist. Haha

You guys make things much more bearable. Mates, thanks for defending the silver lining. =)

PS: Sean (the one in red liverpool jersey), look at your fishmonger attire!

2007-10-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

Hari ini ialah hari keputeraan, because...
it is...
Ryan, the Lame King's Birthday!!!
zzzz...

Since you're 21 already but still single and available, i vetoed the idea of posting up the clip of you having your crotch slammed against the pillar. I know, how nice of me right? I thought you've have enough publicity in my blog so...

Happy birthday once again! I promise all your lame jokes for today will be granted with my heartiest laughter. *wink*

Spent 2 consecutive days in the city indulging in all sorts of exotic guilty pleasures. Waffles, ice-creams, cheesecakes, spaghettis all in 2 go's. This delinquent behaviour shall not be condoned because it is bound to be resulted in the ikea scale deflection. ><
Bt hey, it is my final decadence before hell reopens. I foresee myself cooping in the library for insane hours, drowning myself in stacks of unsolved math problems with hair pulling into different directions. I am so not looking forward to that.

Dining in Changing Appetite at City Hall. The whole restaurant was adorned with Halloween ornaments and decorations, with cobwebs spiralling across the walls and skeletons greeting you at the entrance. The waiters were spotted with ghostly white makeup and Halloween costumes. I wanna go to the Halloween party at Zouk!!!

Peach ice-cream waffle.

Rum n' Raisin Cheesecake. Secret Recipe has a better recipe when it comes to baking cakes. Crap, look at my thinning hair line. This is what NUS does to you! Evil NUS! You deform me!!!

My company of the night. Had a blast with you, baltic. =) thanks for bringing me out for dinner although we were stuck in the stupid jam for more than an hour. And thanks for being such a great friend and always layan me and my endless mathematics problems.

Next day was spent with my shopping giggly buddy, Ning at vivo city.

Mascots wandering around the mall.

I never had orgasmic ice-creams for the longest time! and finally...

Ben & Jerry's!
Dandy but not being biased or what, Baskin's chocolate mousse and strawberry cheesecake somehow taste richer and more titillating.

Feeling jubilated to be out of NUS, the National University of Stress. Sweet delectables make me happy. =)

Juxtaposing my points, 2 days in the city completely thwarted my diet plan and i'm back to square one. I need need need to lose weight before my food tour to Ipoh on dec.

And now, may i present you my latest prize possession!

3rd generation iPod Nano.

Stupid iTunes crashed my Shuffle's programme and lord, i can never concentrate without music. I passed out within 10 minutes, which is not good because it can lead to a series of unfortunate and humilliating events. Like entering the wrong toilet in the library in sleeping mode.

Anyway, bear with me while i shamelessly admire this cooler, slimmer and hipper mp3 player before the novelty wears off.

You served me well indeed, Shuffle.
Perhaps, Nano might be a better servant. *sigh contently*

Caryn suggested a playlist tag, so here it is:
1. The Veronicas - Speechless
2. Aly & Aj - Tears
3. Aly & Aj - Silence
4. Aly & Aj - I'm Here
5. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
6. Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come to an End)
7. Lifehouse - Everything
8. Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest
9. Linkin Park - What I've Done
10. Linkin Park - Valentine's Day
11. Coldplay - Fix You
12. Timbaland ft JT & Furtado - Give It To Me
13. Gwen Stefani - 4 In The Morning
14. The Fray - How To Safe A Life
15. Avril Lavigne - Innocence
16. Escobar & Heather Nova - Someone New
17. Duncan Sheik - That Says It All
18. The Veronicas - Spend The Night With You
19. Shayne Ward - All My Life
20. Hanson - Penny & Me

Reply this tag by leaving comments on the post, thanks.

Alright, time for the mugging process to start. Lets end this semester on a high note.

2007-10-20T18:03:00.000+08:00

After 7 hours of calculus, my brain is as saturated as it can get and is currently experiencing temporary braindead.

Shall i let the pictures do the talking.

Startup @ Singapore Official Launch

Lack of sleep hence the so cannot make it face, Jinjing, and Jorina. Jinjing is currently persuing a double degree in common engineering and economy while Jorina is doing law and business. Poeple, now you understand how mediocre i am!

Dry run in the morning, and packing goodie bags.

From left: Sponsorship director, Wenyou, damn i don't know what is his name, Event Executive, Heng hui and my marketing boss, Ivan.

Me, clad in my $140 power suit. $500 Zara blazer on the left vs $60 Nichii jacket on the right. Pale in comparison. >< I love my shoes although our secretary, Felyna wasn't so keen on the idea of me exposing my toes. hahaha. she later email us regarding the dress code for CEO unplugged and highlighted, "please cover your TOES."

Tired, but contented knowing that the event went well and we managed to keep our sponsors happy. It has been an exhausting week, but the experience i gain is priceless and eye opening. Will do it again without a second of hesitation.

CEO Unplugged

The 2 CEOs of the night:
Mr Adam Khoo, CEO of Adam Khoo Learning Technologies
Mr Ivan Lee, Thai Express and Onyx Concept.

Mr. Ivan Lee got CCE for A levels but was in the dean lists throughout his 4years in NUS! wth

Both of them are possess a good sense of humour, are undoubtably charismatic, making the 1 and a half hour talk extremely enlightening and funny.

Junbo and I. I was wearing a pair of shoes thats one size smaller! Crap. Need to get a pair of heels that cover my TOES.

NES steering committee, Dr Bernard something something oops. Yen Yoong, me and Heng Hui.

Swarms of people networking at the NUS School of Business.

Alright, have to start studying for finals!!!

PS: why is my face so chubby!!!!!! need to lose weight.

2007-10-17T01:14:00.000+08:00

Busy week for me! But after having 8 hours of sleep last night, i'm surprisingly energetic and excited! Looking forward to the various upcoming events.

And to all the NUS students, do come down for our CEO Unplugged! I promise it will not be a disappoinment and i can assure you it will be an experience you will not forget.

Will blog about official launch when this crazy week ends. =)

Go to http://www.startup.org.sg for more information.

Melissa

2007-10-15T00:43:00.000+08:00

My cute American cluster mate who stays opposite my room. Always hyper and possess the biggest brightest smile on earth, she's a 5'2 (she's shorter than me!) studious geek =p from Ohio who doesn't know Justin Timberlake is from 'Nsync and watches less American TV shows than me!

I frequently asked her to confirm if she's from the States due to her poor knowledge about Hollywood. and she calls me the american tv show girl. Ahah.

Mel is so cute until i decided to dedicate a post to her. =)

Few days ago i was asking her for help on my Real Estate tutorial regarding a debate entitled 'Corrupt society begets corrupt professionals'. Don't even get me started with how hard it is to find rigorous points and solid evidence to oppose the thesis. And what a coincidence knowing that there's this judiciary issue circulating malaysia right now.

Anyway, back to Melissa...
After she helped me out on the assignment, i resumed to my studies while she left my room to do her own thing. After an hour or so she knocked on my door again with this excited look on her face.

"Hey, did you go joggin?"
"er...no..."
"Cause i saw this girl down there who looked extremely like you clad in sports wear and i thought it was you...and i'm like so so so sad because i was thinking, i just helped her in her assignment and she didn't wanna go jogging with me!" (she always jio me to go jog with her but somehow we can't come out with a fixed time to do it together)

"I'm just so so sad and i came to your room and see if you've changed to your jogging clothes."

All these while i had this confused plus amused look on my face while she just tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Ok, nevermind. I'm happy now, you didn't go jogging without me."

And walked away. Aww...hahaha.

Lunch at White Dog Cafe. No idea why they called it White Dog Cafe.

Her Vongole Pasta with spicy tomato sauce.

My tender chicken fillet with creamy mushroom sauce.

Mel was nice enough to accompany me to Vivo to shop for my formal wear. Damn super bloody extremely outrageously expensive la. >< Mel told me she couldnt solve this particular Econs problem but she had this Eureka moment in Nichii Fashion City and got the solution in her head while roaming through the clothes. Haha.

She came back and told me her eureka moment didn't solve her question afterall.

Can't wait for you and your family to backpack in msia so i can show you around KL! =)=)=)

__________________________________________________________________________
Got tagged by sean, will finish it before i head to bed.

1. The person who tagged you is:
Sean aka my super smart math coursemate aka pioneer falcon

2. Your relationship with him:
Friend, and a helpful coursemate.

3. 5 Impressions you have of him:
-Studious
-Nerdy
-Abit naive like a little kid ><
-Smart
All of the above

4. Most memorable thing he has done for you:
Answer every single one of my queries regarding my homeworks and tutorials. Thanks!

5. Most memorable words he said to you:
More like to us. "Lets do math baby!"

Don't have no.6 because he deleted the question for whatever hidden reason.

7. If he becomes your lover, things he has to improved on will be:
Don't worry, he won't become my lover

8. If he becomes your enemy, you will:
Get back on his good side, if not no one will teach me math! hahaha

9. If he becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
I wont allowed him to be one. Lolz

10. The most desirable thing you want to do for him now is:
express my gratitude towards his kindness

11. Your overall impression of him is:
Positive

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you:
Fasion savvy (kla, abit too perasan here but wth) who likes to have fun and cheeky and bubbly and talks alot. Althought im trying to tone it down kayz!

13. The characteristic you love about yourself is:
Modern?

14. The characteristic you hate about yourself is:
Talks too much sometimes and tends to be self centered at times. Oh yea, and weight obsessive too. ><

15. The most ideal person you want to be is:
Can't it be a combination of a few?

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
Thank you and i love you guys.

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.
1. Caryn
2. Baltic
3. Syen
4. Chubs!!!!
5. Syer
6. Ryan
7. Winnie
8. Ai Ting
9. Lukas
10. Xander

Who is no. 6 having relationship with:
er...not that i know of.

Is no.9 male/female:
Ahah, thats disputable!

If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing:
er...not really sure

When you last chat with no 3.:
Yesterday

What kind of music that no 8 likes:
Country, mellow songs. Similar to my choice of music.

Does no.1 have any siblings:
an elder sis who's 9years older than her.

Will you woo no 3:
I'm straight!

How bout no 7:
I'm still striaght!

Is no 4 single:
Yup yup, chubby anyone?

What's the surname of no 5:
Oh shit, syen, what is your surname already ar?

What's the hobby of no 4:
Dota, playing games, running around with his cutie face, kacauing people and be emo every now and then.

Do no 5 and 9 get along:
they don't know each other.

Where is no 2 studying at:
NUS!

Say something casual about no 1:
weird!

Have you tried developing feelings for no 8:
I AM STRAIGHT! HETEROSEXUAL!

Where does no 9 live:
Prince George's Park

What color does no 4 like:
Black?

Are no 5 and 1 best friends:
nah...

Does no 7 like 2:
nah... they've never even met!

How did you get to know no 2:
Through Unoffical Freshmen Orientation

Does no 1 have any pets:
Her sister does

Is no 7 the sexiest person in the world:
I'm sexier!

That's it. Your turn, guys!

2007-10-14T09:34:00.000+08:00

Despite not feeling a single sense of raya mood, (mainly because the non-existance festive holidays that most msians get to enjoy)

Selamat Hari Raya everyone!

Tomorrow is Startup's Official Launch and it is only fair that as a marketing department executive, shall i utilise my blog as a publicity platform. =)

Our Vision

To be the beacon for start-ups on their road to success.

A beacon serves as a guiding light to ships by marking out hazards at sea and keeping them safe. At Start-Up@Singapore (S@S), we understand that the road to success is neither easy nor straightforward. We also appreciate the fact that success means different things to different people. To this extent, at the core of our many ambitions is our hope that we can nurture and guide potential start-ups by affording them the opportunities to equip themselves with the skills and knowledge to succeed in whatever form they define success.

Our Mission

To organize a world-class business plan competition based on the fundamentals of:

1. Creating meaningful events
Anyone and everyone who attends our talks, seminars, forums and/or workshops should leave with a sense of having been inspired and/or educated by our speakers or gained an opportunity from the event.

2. Ensuring a fair and critical perspective
Since the competition is one of our core components, fairness and transparency in our judging process is of utmost importance.

3. Facilitating access to premium capital and quality resources
S@S doesn't end once the prizes have been awarded and the photographs have been taken. With our strong base of contacts, we are eager to help aspiring entrepreneurs that want to incorporate their start-ups by linking them up with our numerous partners to get funding, incubation space and other facilities.

4. Bringing together the right people and the right ideas at the right time
In essence, S@S is all about bringing together people and ideas at the right time. This is a tradition that we will continue to follow for many years.

Some tidbits about startup @ singapore-

We have had more than 1100 teams and 3600 participants from all over the world since our inception. More than 60 startup companies had been formed since then.

In our formative years, S@S was fashioned solely as a business plan competition. Yet, in recent years, we've grown and evolved to become much more than just a contest. Over and above the capital that we award to start-ups with winning business plans, S@S now provides current and aspiring entrepreneurs with a staggering repertoire of resources, such as educational seminars, team building workshops, mentorship opportunities and networking sessions, to help them make the critical transition from paper to product.

S@S is now more than a business plan competition. We are a platform to make ideas happen.

So it doesn't matter which continent you reside! All you need is one ground-breaking idea and here, we will help you to make it happen!

Who knows, you might just be the next Chad Hurley or Larry Page!

2007-10-13T02:51:00.000+08:00

Hectic and crazy week lies ahead of me. Just pray that I'll survive.

Rehearsals, Official Launch, workshops, conference, seminar pranced around my schedule for the next 6 days. It seems chimerical to even get decent hours of sleep.

Finished my last mid term paper this monday, and the fact that i didn't perform too well in my econs test left me feeling extremely defeated. I blatantly admit that i am too competetive for my own good, perhaps, now is the time to learn to let go. It hasn't been a very good month for me, where it drains a person's soul to constantly harp on his/her mishaps and woes. But really, how can you not?

Naiveness fooled me into thinking that i will, one day, go back to the once bubbly, blithe-spirited self. but the truth is, i realized, as i fearfully step into adulthood, life slowly takes away my penchant of optimism. Hope is intangible. Life is harsh, reality is cruel. No matter how you choose to believe it is not. To survive in this dog eat dog world, everything is a trade-off, one must sacrifice something in order to receive something in return.

There are abundance of oppurtunities and experiences here, An NUS degree is enticing, but studying in NUS is more than beholds the eye. What are the sacrifices we had made? You can click into any one of the NUS students' blog and you'll soon realize we can start a club called "The Emo NUS Blogger Society".

Math, i wonder why i am foolish enough to think that i'll survive in the midst of PRC math whiz. Here, sheer hard work will only make you an average. To be brilliant, one has to be both talented and hardworking. Makes you wonder, what is the point of working your ass off just to be mediocre in the end?

Quoting from an article i came across today:

Optimism is a bet that the odds are in your favor. Hope is the faith that things
will work out whatever the odds. Hope is a verb with its sleeves rolled up.
Hopeful people are actively engage in defying the odds. Optimism leans back, put
its feet up and sports a confident look, knowing that the deck is stacked.

So is it better to be hopeful? or to be optimistic?

Are the odds in my favour? Do I have what it takes to fight against all odds?

It is irrefutable to say that life will only get harder. What is the trade-off to be the sole survivor? What strategy will one use to vanquish its opponents?

I am not miserable. Just as my horizons broadens in the future, i wish to believe every cloud does have a silver lining. Mistakes are irreversible, but lets hope (there is the word again) as i tussled my way through the expectations and challenges, i will emerge as a better person with a greater credential. with all these endless persuits, I just want to be happy in the end.

PS: Thanks mom, for all these encouraging and thoughtful smses you sent me. You guys are the reason why i will keep on fighting.

2007-10-09T11:10:00.000+08:00

Dear bloggie,

It is not because momma purposely wants to abandon you, it is because under some circumstances, she isn't allowed to spend much time with you. Hopefully, tonight i'll get to spend time with you at least for an hour.

Love,
Timbergurl.

2007-10-07T07:55:00.000+08:00

It didn't really hit me that i am studying in one of the top 20 universities in the world and top 3 in Asia until i looked at my mid term test results. =(=(=(

*runs back to malaysia*

One liners

2007-10-01T15:29:00.000+08:00

There's so much i want to say.

Can't wait for the tests to end so i can reignite the fire in me and inhale life once again.

2007-09-29T20:13:00.000+08:00

I am complicated yet simple.

A cup of Starbucks caramel hot chocolate will make me a very very happy girl. =)

~~Anyone nice enough to buy me one and deliver it to block 2, level 4 room d? smooches as tips!~~

PS: i am slowly getting pass the emo phase, thanks to the support of those who truly care for me.

Test tomorrow! Aiks!!!!

Greetings

2007-09-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

40 minutes later, we will have to wait for another year to enjoy the sweet lotus mooncakes and walk along the street carrying colourful lanterns which come in different shapes and sizes.

This year's Mooncake Festival was spent in a much more subtle and simple way at home. No cousins building formations of heart shapes with candles outside the porch, even the usual merry family dinner went missing.

Ironically, this special day was celebrated in a more fun-filled and high spirited way in Singapore.

Who cares if we celebrated a week earlier?

Who cares if we had cheap lanterns with no music?
They are annoying anyway.

Not being able to taste expensive mooncakes didn't matter, because the perfect company of the night compensated for everything.

The glowing figure next to the sculpture is indeed a human, so no worries people.

At the pinnacle point of my misery and emo-ness, these 2 wonderful friends had been there for me all along, took care of me with their unfaltering support which interlaced with pieces of wise advices.

Yen & James

Thanks for layaning me to camwhore at the lantern exhibition although you guys were tired that night.

Beautiful lanterns which adorned Clark Quay and China Town, also illuminating the Singapore River where the rippling river is dimly lit with the glow of the hanging lanterns. It was the perfect place to bring a date for a romantic nightout, dining at the restaurant on a boat, which i assume charges daylight + night time robbery price.

Not allowed to climb up since i was wearing a dress. =(

Happy Mooncake Festival peeps.

2007-09-24T08:59:00.000+08:00

This wonderful, benevolent and chivalrous young lad,

1. Stocked up my fave junk foods knowing that i will be back home from Singapore.
2. Walked me back from tuition every Thursday when i was still in high school.
3. Layan me when i am the most irritating person in the world.
4. Belanja me when he's feeling altruistic.
5. Went to the wet market to help out his old man every sunday eventhough he's schooling in matriculation currently.
6. Asked if i needed any help when he sees me hanging clothes outside the porch.
7. Protect me from any harms with his formidable appearance.
8. Take in all my harsh critism and still love me for who i am.
9. Stay overnight in the hospital to look after his old old man when the others were reluctant to do so.
10. Buy me drinks and pay for the shuttlecocks during our weekly badminton session.
11. Happily asked me to take his iPod Nano to Singapore and he's willing to use my Apple's oldest iPod invention, the Shuffle.
12. Willingly go out to town and buy me what i want when i have sudden cravings. Remember all our Rocky moments?
13. Will drive his good friend's girlfriend to tuition and waited for the girl at work on his buddy's behalf.
14. Take care of everyone in the family.

He,
is none other than my beloved brother.

Hey brother, you have no idea how loved i feel when i saw your name displaying on my mobile screen, eventhough you called and woke me up in the most unappropriate hours.

I have no idea, what have i done in my past life, to deserve such a great person like you as my brother. Forgive me if i wasn't the perfect sister in the world last time, but i will try my best to be there for you when you need me.

Keep up the 4.0CGPA in melaka alright?

Happy 18th Birthday, young man. I love you. <3<3<3

2007-09-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

Apologies hold no gravity no more at this point. But there really is no words that i could say besides 'sorry'. Sorry for letting you down. Sorry for being so cold-hearted and selfish. Sorry for failing to fullfill your simplest wish. Sorry for not trying hard enough.

Sorry, for not knowing you. For judging you.

Life will never ever be the same again, where the mobile won't be ringing the familar 'My Love' ringtone anymore, and your hugs and kisses i will miss.

Perhaps, i will feel alot less worse if you would have just hated me. How can you look at my ugly deformed face and tell me you understand? Because it is perfectly understandable if you don't. But this is the best i can do for us, for i don't want to waste anymore of your time. you deserve someone better, and that someone, unfortunately, is not me. I wouldn't want to cause you anymore pain, for i am nothing but a cancer in your life.

The path i chose, led me to a long and lonely journey. There will be no warmth of yours, ensuring me that i am safe. I am alone, not because you have left me. It is because i call this upon myself.

Let me cry, til there are no more tears to shed.

___________________________________________________________________________

NES team bonding session on Friday night

All the NES high comm and management committees were divided into a few groups and each group had to cook a dish, some sorta like potluck. Guess what? Lack of Vietnamese in the group was a big disadvanage, because no one really know how to cook. ><
Min Xuan, our NES president, getting hands on cooking utensils for the very first time.

My fried rice. no worries, it was perfectly edible.

A bunch of culinary noobs.

S@S Marketing Department.
Amy, Jinjing, Moi, Marcus, JunBo, and our director Ivan.

NES Local Outreach.
Ye Xiao, Moi, Dan, our director Kelvin, and the outcast James, NES treasurer.

The most happening department, in my opinion. BizAsia people are pretty cool.

More pictures to come, but as of right now, i just wanna crawl back into my shell.

2007-09-16T11:39:00.001+08:00

Edited: A belated birthday shoutout to Beh Beh!

To a friend i've known for the longest time,

When i mean for the longest time, it is meant literally in the sense that you appeared in my 2yrs old birthday party pictures!

Sporty Beh Beh who always brings so much laughter and joy to the T6 clan. I admire you because i believe you are the only one who manage to dig more dirts and gossips about the others than i do. No la, i don't admire you for those kinda reasons one. You are indeed a superwoman judging from how invovled you are in MMU, and for the fact that you can go on and on without any proper rest and still have the energy to go out with friends really do amaze me.

I miss our weekly badminton sessions! Only you are able to layan me when my hands are gatal and i always have a blast when you're around. Thanks, for all the unbridled merriment you bring to us. Thanks, for being such a fun loving friend to be with.

All the best in whatever you do Irene. Happy 20th Birthday!
_____________________________________________________________________

Staying hermited in my shell for the weekend has make me feel surprisingly productive. Eventhough the only thing i've accomplished so far is finishing my Calculus tutorial, which means i still have Fundamental Maths, Econs, and Linear Algebra await me.

Gosh, i can almost hear their evil laughs at the back of my mind. Any joyous and hearty affairs are bound to be relinquished considering the pile of workloads that keep tumbling upon me one-by-one like the red-black dominoes. But i am determined to get all the work done by Tuesday so i can go for the lantern exhibition in China Town!

You know, the weighing scale never lies. Besides having an uncanny resemblance of a panda due to pathetic hours of shut-eye every night, i can very much relate to this cute fluffy big animal physcially wise as well! I am indeed in perpetual denial because whenever i look at my chubby face in the pictures, i convince myself it's just the angle problem. So starting from now on, i am determined to shed at least 2kgs. Anyone who is interested in night jogging, just give me a holler and i'll be more than happy to accompany you.

I'm happy to know this weekend is coming to a fullstop. Everything went through like a blur to me, for i've been feeling troubled and restless. My thoughts are jumbled, where the cheerful facade is slowly collapsing. I stopped being my loquacious self, where even striking a small talk about the weather with an acquaintance seems like a draining task. Shall i show my gratitude to a few close friends here who unfortunately became my constant listeners. guys, you know who you are.

Perhaps i should really get a grip of myself so my family back home won't have to worry about me. If only i can find answers in the realm of ambivalence. It's ironic how in the previous post, i wish to be the angel to save people from their despair, where now i am the one who need rescue. Following up on the issue where i mentioned that a close friend of mine has been drifting away from me, my instinct turned out to be right. Apparently, i've hurt her without realizing it and i'm glad that we've talk things through and hopefully, things will resume back to the way they are.

Perhaps, i talk too much. Sometimes i wish i am this introvert who's socialphobic so i wouldn't blurt out stupid things that offend people.

Sometimes i just don't like myself very much.

Anyway,
For the viewing pleasure of my folks back home

On a random note, how come everyone in NES is omniscient accept ME?!? NUS, you never failed to remind me how mediocre and spastic i am.

2007-09-10T09:07:00.000+08:00

The love for impulsive shopping and endless non-sensical chit chat never fail to be the best way to bond 3 young ladies together.

An Nnie, who picks up everything on a rack as long as it's pink and white. Who refused to be associated with the word 'cute' but yet, likes all the cutest thing in the world. Who fooled us by the barbie look because behind the adorable exterior, you are indeed the most level headed among us, and had helped me mature through your encouraging and wise advices.

We practically forced her to take this 'act cute' picture.

Ning, you will win my 'NUS best friend' election hands down. Your vivacious personiality somehow manage to keep me sane in NUS. Thank you for lending your ear and cheering me up when my motivation is thinning. just your mere presence offers me unspoken comfort and a sense of belonging. i hope to you, i play the 'friend' role as good as you do.

In a span of 2 short months, we've transformed from total strangers to best shopping and pillow talk buddies. (ok maybe not pillow talk la, but the night spent in my residence's wooden benches counts k but lets have pillow talk one friday night!) I wish nothing more than having you two with me, walking through the 4yrs journey in NUS together as our future unfolds all its challenges and possiblities. Here, is to our many many Beard's Papa to come! <3

I am not sure if the rain woke me up this morning or subconsiously, i am telling myself that there's still 3 tutorials untouched for this week. xc, you're going down. As the rain drops hit against my room window adorned with the newly installed curtains, dormancy creeps in. The sky is laced with dark grey clouds, for the gloominess reflected how i am feeling nowadays.

If only i can forget about all the troubles that's slowly crippling me and just snuggle underneath my blanket and sleep through the day. If only i can stop being irresponsible so i will start taking care of myself, stop consuming so much caffeine and start gulping bottles of water so my cough and sorethroat will ceased. If only my homeworks will be done in a wave of a wand with a few mutters of spells.

Last night we had our IED bazaar and performances debrief. We did an excellent job, although there's always room for improvement. but i'm just glad that every committees are so positive and dedicated, words of encouragement were greatly emphazised and nobody was left unappreciated. unlike all the other debriefs i've attended before back in high school where everyone shoots daggers at each other, and hurting each other's feelings verbally. no words can describe how i feel about MSL, because this passion has gone beyond words, MSL has planted a seed in me, and i will nurture it with all the love i have to make sure it blossoms. i teared when kim wong gave his speech entitled 'Actually', i'm sure all the other MSLians felt the same way as i do.

Digressing,
I used to be really close to this friend, but these few days i somehow sense a growing distance between us. It's like she's not as warm towards me anymore, and this feeling saddens me greatly. i search for a reason, and i wish that reason wouldn't be the reason why this situation is occuring.

Impotence, i dislike you very very much now. Emo-ness, i don't really like you either.

PS: Specially for Caryn

Miss every single one of you to bits. =)

IED' 07

2007-09-08T01:58:00.001+08:00

Sick of all the acronyms that had been flooding my blog lately?
There's only more to come.

Woke up with a ferocious headache and after working so hard for my english synthesis last night, i couldn't hand it up since i had to miss my class. With activities on the go in every seconds of my life here in NUS, i can tell you that my health metre is hitting the danger zone. if i don't start getting responsible and take care of myself properly now, this mild malaise is going to turn into something ugly soon.

University's life and its fun-filled activities are supposed to embellish our youth, instead of shortening our lifes for like approximately 10years, due to the amount of stress everyone goes through. With the never ending kerfuffle that surrounds us, some are already nearing the brink of breaking down, with stress level skyrocketing to an alarming zone. If it was to be elucidated through a graph, we've just past the optimum level and will be plunging down the slope in no time.

I feel impotent when i see people around me plagued with worries and sadness. i somehow wish i have a pair of wings attached behind my back and a glimmering band above my head, so i can possess the power of taking the pain away from them, just like how the white lighter heal our wounds.

if only a simple, genuine and comforting smile suffices, this world will be a much more lovely place to live in.

you know, 2 days ago i was just telling james how we're mould to be conservative, and never dare to break out from our comfort zone. the chinese thinking, the kiasu ness in us, the fear of hummiliation and rejection. and with the comments made by the anonymous in my previous post as a strong evidence to my statement, i rest my case.

_____________________________________________________________________
International Exchange Day

After the amount of sacrifices we made upon the arrival of this particular day,

Our hardwork finally paid off.

Thank you girls, you've made all the MSLians proud.

It is this very moment, with droplets of sweat trickled down our cheeks and passing through our smiles, people from other continents applausing and shouting for encore, and the ubiquitous sounds of camera clicking away in our direction, that i know everything we've done for today is all worth it.

As i am typing this, a bottle of Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa sat beside my laptop. It's from Tsu Chuin, our altruistic senior; just because i told him i am having a cough this morning. how can someone be so kind hearted and helpful? he had been there for every practice, although he could spend his time doing something else. After we finished our performance, he described his feelings as a father attending his daughter's graduation ceremony. Haha. Thank you again senior, for being so supportive.

Zachary, a blithe american who can speak surprisingly fluent malay! I'm impressed! and look at the things he created using the balloons.

Us working our ass off at Bazaar, selling drinks, pisang goreng, fried potatoes and murukus. Kudos to all the bazaar committees! You guys are awesome.

But i was kinda angry when i saw something happened at the Central Forum that day. A malaysian, who his/her name will not be revealed, came down from the library, gave a 2 seconds look at us, and walked away. Just like that. Like it had nothing to do with him/her. Like she wasn't part of us. But he/she is so not worth it, so why bother.

Our very own rendition of Yasmin Ahmad's Petronas merdeka advertisement. When the actors and actresses were singing 'If We Hold On Together', there was a tug in my heart, and my nose soured. Never in my life, that i've witness such strong passion and fire in everyone. I don't know how to pen down my feelings, but throughout the whole song, i feel so empowered and touched.

I feel so so so lucky, to have know all these wonderful people.

Dear friends, you are the reason why i know no matter what happens in the future, i'll always have you by my side. That we're a family, a home away from home.

Friendship, the tangible thing that will accompany us through the 4 years journey in NUS. Hope our friendship will stay perpetual and never be impurified and tarnished by slanders and lies.

PS: Chris Daughtry's 'HOME' is playing in my head, 2 weeks time, and i'll be home. =) my beloved family, i miss you.

I miss my T6 members and subhen is probably back in uk already.

Happy Belated Birthday, Malaysia

2007-09-03T09:20:00.000+08:00

Despite the fact that our government denied some of us our chance to study in our desired university back home, and ended up in this foreign land, we still love Tanah Air nevertheless.

This will not be a political post, for that task i'll rather leave for Vincent since he has very much to say about our beloved country. I am stuck in the realm of ambivalence, unsure what are the right reasons to really cherish my homeland. A lousy Malaysian, i am? Besides our vast variety of foods which i definitely miss, what else are there to love? Everyone appears to be 100times more patriotic in a different continental, but shouldn't we question ourselves for what reasons, or we just opt back to being the typical ignorant Malaysian, shouting Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka on top of our lungs without knowing the true meaning behind our 50th year of independence?

Sad to admit it, but i think (i think people, this makes my following statement a subjective one) it is pretty impossible to realize Wawasan 2020 judging from the condition we are in right now.

If we are to continue practising the ongoing lousy education policy, Malaysia's development will pretty much remain stagnant. You see 5yrs old kindergarten kids carrying a bag which is possibly heavier than herself going to tution instead of playing masak masak at home. You see students pulling their hairs, competing with each other in primary and secondary school, attending endless tuitions when they could be spending the spare time running across the field or playing sports. We select courses in university that can get the highest return when we work, instead of chasing our dreams.

Ashame to confess this, but i am one of those ignorant malaysians who hardly bothers to think of the problems that plague my country. and i am also those who will pick a course that promises a brigther and more secure future.

We can put the all the blame on those people who manage our country, but don't forget it is our responsibility to ensure that these idiots do not continue to slowly damage this lovely country (no more brainless and narrow minded MPs that will blurt out stupid nonsense in the Parliment please). We are the antidote to a better Malaysia.

Because at the end of the day, home is where the heart is. =)

MSL celebrated Merdeka Day, of course. Potluck, sketches, and lucky draws were some of our activities that night. No countdown for us because everyone had classes on Friday. ><
Making chocolate corn flakes.

No, the guys weren't as deligent as they portrayed.

My potluck group. Malaycious boleh!!!

Buffet, cooked by pure malaysians! No horrible singapore food!

Ryan, i'm not sure if this is good publicity for you or not.

Moi and AMOGA girls.

I have the most cui-est and sui-est week last week. Forgot to shut the window and somehow it was pouring cats and dogs that day and my laptop ended up soaked. The keypad was damaged and kena kau kau from my mom. But...

Boyfriend was willing to travel all the way from Malaysia to Singapore just to pass me his laptop so he can bring mine back to fix. He rather uses his retarded desktop at home. Sometimes i honestly feel like i don't deserve this great man, because i am nothing but a spoilt lousy girlfriend that treats him like trash when i feel like it, only layan him when i feel like it but often ignore him when i am busy. Yet, he took all these unfair treatment in with all the patience in the world, though frustrated and neglected.

I don't know how to thank you for that, for the least i can do is try my best to improve myself and be a better person for you. But don't expect me to be Stepford girlfriend la. Haha.

Anywayz,
Someone stole my favorite pair of sandals Vin bought for me. cries. Why do all the shittiest and most unfortunate things have to happen to me?!?

I am going to die of exhaustion and stress soon. 3 undone tutorials and 1 homework set, dance practice at 9pm, game workshop on wednesday, International Exchange Day on Thursday and meeting again on friday. Being selected into 2 management committee boards aren't something i am really proud of right now, because if i don't perform up to par, i'll die of embarrassment. ><

OK, i'll go dig grave for myself now.

2007-08-27T18:18:00.000+08:00

Although most of the people i know, be it acquaintances or close friends, none believed that i've never step foot into a club before. But i speak nothing but the truth, that i am indeed a virgin clubber until saturday night.

After being turned down by majority of the MSLians, we lost the initial excitement and enthusiasm, but still managed to ajak a few 'enthu' friends to join the Science Bash at DXO. But honestly, relief washed over me knowing that they had turned me down, because the night didn't turn out to be as fun as we anticipated it to be, if they were to go, i will definitely feel damn bad about it. Firstly, the crowd was lacklustre, and not happening at all. The presence of the DJ in the house didn't make the atmosphere any better, with sucky and boring music playing throughout the whole night.

I feel like i owe james an apology for dragging him along, no more next time ok? =)

My first clubbing experience wasn't how i expected it to be, but my wonderful company was more than i could ever asked for.

Moi and Allison. I had so much fun with you girl! we should do this every now and then (ok, maybe once in a very blue moon) to destress, but DXO is definitely a big no no!

Yen Yoong and Allison make you go 'awww' when you see them together. Dean lister knows how to partay too!

Not all ASEAN scholars are born with 2 left legs either.

Alcohol not only damage your liver, it lures you to do all kinds of asinine stuffs as well.

Take 1

Andrew hilang.

Take 2

Ryan's turn to have his head cut off.

__________________________________________________________________

Allow me to say farewell to my mischief, and never ever come thwart my mugging plan again. Mercy please come and embrace me, save me from all the overwhelmness i am currently feeling. I am a pristine glass, absorbs prints of its handler without knowing how to say no. I fear responsiblities, yet i kept on accepting them because give me an inch, i want a mile, while in the end i slowly crack because i couldn't handle them. I don't want to be a leader, yet i like the idea of people listening to me.

Everything around me happens as fast as a bullet train can go, but i do welcome all these never ending meetings and refreshing activities, for it shields me away from loneliness and emptiness. It helps in a way that i don't have to go through the feeling of missing my family, my boyfriend, and my friends back home. i just shut those feeling down into the back of my mind.

Yet, i wish to seek peace in the midst of all the buzz. Time to reflect, time to appreciate all these thing i am experiencing.

I realize, i am my biggest enemy. Whatever i do, i will not satisfy myself. I didn't get into NES (NUS Entreprenuership Society), i appealed and fought for it til i landed myself a place in NES Local Outreach Programme Management Committee. I wasn't exactly thrilled about it since i wanted Startup@Singapore but i've gotten over it. (might i add the interviews NES held were gruelling, not only they test us on how we react under extreme stress, they also tested our marketing skills. Have to write proposal and do presentation some more, like how it is in the Apprentice!)

Still, that wasn't enough for me, I went for the AIESEC (International Association of Students In Economics and Management) interview, and got in too. This wednesday, i am planning to go for Dance Blast audition. I keep on pushing myself to strive for greater length, neglecting the important question, will i be able to juggle so much things at once?

I want to excel in my CCA and wish to be a dean lister at the same time. so laugh at me friends, and slap me in the face because i need to be awaken from this dream, thinking i can do everything with only 24hours a day.

Save me before i break myself.

Anyway, my girls and i encounter a small hiccup in our performance for International Exchange Day. I got abit frustrated yesterday because our supposed-to-be choreographer pulled out suddenly and we're left with 2minutes of dance without any choreographs. With zero dancing background, it is impossible for us to come out with something considering the performance is only one week away. They depended on me to make things right, it became my responsibility to figure things out. I was lost, and seeing the girls dancing with minimum improvements during each practice only added the pounds that are already weighing on my shoulders. No one believes me when i say i can be stress, no one believes that behind my cheerful exterior, i am no doubt a pessimist.

I was so sure i am stranded in a dark tunnel that stretches til the other end of the world with no exit. But i was wrong once again. There is a way out afterall, i will indeed see light through darkness in the end. I called Ramya (the indian choreographer) up again and she promised to meet me tomorrow and teach me for the rest of the dance.

And today's practice, my girls were awesome. I drawn regret from my frustration, for ever doubting them, for ever questioning their iron will in making this performance a success. after today's practice, i believe we're out to break a leg once again. All they need is my patience, and i will give them everything i have. i will not give up because i know they won't. I feel so proud of them today.

Enough of my emoness, something historical happened on saturday afternoon as well.
I participated in a sports competition for the first time in my entire life! (besides the cheating taekwondo championship back in form 4 la)

MSL Sports Day
we invited friends from NTU and some exchanged students to participate in Captain's Ball, badminton, and basketball. Those NTU peeps were pretty good!

I played mix double in league style.

My partner Boon Tiong. Lost this match to wei feng and carly. people couple ma, got chemistry, cannot blame us for losing to them. haha.

Switched partner in the 2nd round, Wee wen and I. Won this match!

Strategizing.
The finals were awesome! And MSLians winning is like cherry on top of a glass of champagne. Kudos to all the Sports Day committees, you guys did a brilliant job!

2007-08-20T12:41:00.000+08:00

You can take me out of the teenybopper era, but you cannot take teenybopperism out of me. Once an 'N Sync girl, forever an 'N Sync girl.

Gone were those days where i collect every single magazines with their faces on it and have their posters plastered behind my reference books. I miss you, my eye candies.

The childlike demaneour above was the result of excessive youtube clips, since being a slave for the books throughout the whole morning will really drive one crazy.

Digressing,
Syin Thian and I were discussing about how stressed and feddup we feel in Singapore at times, because it seems like the only thing that we ever do is wait.

We wait for the bus.
We wait for the MRT.
We wait for food. (i hate hate HATE this the most)
We wait to pay for our books at co-op.

Endless waiting and caterpillar queues.
How come we never felt that way before back home? This question was rose which leads to the following discovery.

We take cars for granted, i take boyfriend for granted, because whenever i go, i'll ask him to drive me there. Whenever i want to go out to town, my friends have cars. I miss sitting in a car. =(

What about queueing?
Malaysians squeeze and push and cut queues, so the span of waiting was cut short.

Aih, i miss being a barbarian.

2007-08-19T12:06:00.000+08:00

I vow to be a hermit on this particular Sunday so i can mug. (NUS people call studying mugging because they usually read in the midnight and it's impossible to stay awake without a mug of coffee on the desk)

While i was writing the above paragraph, Sarah asked me out for lunch. -_-
Plan relinquished.

Supposed to participate in NUS RUN's Adventure Trail but was cancelled due to the downpour yesterday morning.

Anyway,
I heart to see people burning money!!!
Some seniors and my friends travelled all the way to Marina Square last night to catch the amazingly beautiful fireworks from China.

Fireworks were originated from China, last night was rather fantastic, just imagine how spectacular Beijing Olympics opening ceremony is going to be.

The crowd was still bearable compare to Malaysia, at least everyone was civilised enough to not push around. But there's always some exceptional cases like those sakais who kept on screaming throughout the 15minutes span of fireworks. In the midst of unpleasant odour, we crossed our fingers, hoping that this show better be worth the wait.

Around 9.15pm, a couple of glowing devices appeared gliding in the air, indicating the start of the show. Kai Lin claimed there were butterflies.

"See, got butterflies!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Doesn't look look like butterflies also, cannot be dragonflies meh?"
"No la no la, it's flies la."

Kai Lin likes butterflies.

The fireworks were simply awesome! When they displayed the golden long stripes ones, it felt like we were showered by golden rain. Allow me to be environmentally unfriendly for once, even the smokes were pretty. They resembled some floating white monsters, closing in around us with their giant long claws.

Lukas, Terry, Moi, Kar Kheng, Kin Wang and Bo Siung

Ning and I were the only enthu girls that night. I am so freaking tanned, wonder when is my 2 toned skin colour is going to reconcile.

Dining at Cafe Cartel after starving for god knows how long.

The crazy bunch who have no qualms expressing their homosexuality.

James proudly presents his humungus pork ribs. Suying stoned in the background.

Ning and I again, with our delicious ice cream waffles.

Alright, i really should wake my bloody brain up from hibernation and start studying.

2007-08-17T01:31:00.000+08:00

My 2 darlings, Hui Ning and Annie, don't forget our shopping therapy at the end of every month!
Raiding every single stores in Bugis and indulging in those sinful guilty pleasures are indeed therapuetic. =)

I just found 2 girls who are more compulsive than i am when it comes to shopping. My collections of accessories and tops appear as insignificant compare to their inventories. No no no, when 3 of us get together it's just bad. Pigging out and splurging our parents' hard earned money just bought us 3 one way tickets to hell. ><
Anyway, I had a blast with this 2 girls.

Lectures finally started early this week.
Some classes are soporific, some are rather interesting, like my Foundation of Real Estate Appraisal African lecturer. His accent makes you pay attention, although i still fell asleep. It's just impossible for me to sit in the lecture theatre for 2 hours straight without talking or moving. I am that restless.

But something unprecedented happened tonight.
I carried my 2 inches thick of Calculus and Linear Algebra textbooks to the reading room and studied with my friends. I highly doubt something like this will last.

You know what? NUS just leave all those shits to you and you'll have to deal with everything yourself.

NUS doesn't help you to arrange your time table like some local universities do. You bid for your modules (somehow it feels like I'm in the game of stocks, discussing about the modules market price with the others)and ballot for your tutorials, then you have to print all your lecture notes and tutorials yourself as well, which resulted in my $149 purchase of a Fuji Xerox laser printer that doesn't work! Urgh. You just cannot live without one here.

Oh yea, plagiarism is strictly prohibited in Singapore. So we cannot photostat our textbooks! It's either we buy new ones or buy second hand books from seniors. Cannot use P2P to download songs although we have internet connections that's million times faster compare to Malaysia. Kinda pointless right?

I can now speak the same language as my T6 besties, wee!!!

PS: You know what, most of the girls in NUS look so emaciated i just can't stop myself from feeling fat. =( I'm going to start hitting the gym from now on, wish me luck people!

2007-08-13T10:14:00.000+08:00

Boyfriend who is willing to travel 7 hours down to Singapore just to see his bunny for a few days. A teary goodbye was just waved at the bus stop, and i will find strength once again to survive until i'll be in your arms again next month.

Dining in an expensive restaurant isn't the most idealistic date for me, because i enjoy nothing more than to sit in Borders with a chic lit in my hand and having you sit next to me reading your favourite graphic novels.

Having intellectual discussion (more like you overflooding me non-stop with your vast knowledge of world history and general stuffs, reminding me of how ignorant i can be sometimes) while waiting for my laundry to be done has just been added to my list of favourite things to do with you! Miss you already, baby. =)

Steamboat party at Marina Bay on Singapore's National Day Eve.

Our table. Ryan (the one with the cheesy grin on the left) out of place la!

The guy in lime green shirt (second from left) was invited by me for steamboat although he was just an acquaintance i met in the street during Flag Day! He approached me with a curious expression on his face, asking me what was the Flagging all about and being the usual friendly me ~~puke~~ started babbling off, completely forgotten about the don't-simply-talk-to-strangers advice. He turns out to by Ka Yan's senior!

My kaki-s of the night.

Malaysian spirit palpitating at Marina Bay.

UFO2 (Unofficial Freshmen Orientation) ended in a high note few days ago.
Guess what is the theme of our UFO2 finale night?

It's actually called 'ACTUALLY'!
With everyone starting their speech with the word 'actually' followed by another couple of 'actually' in the 5 minutes talk, it's really hard to miss.

"Actually, what i want to say is...."
"Actually i'm really happy to have...."
"Actually right, this...."
Actually this, actually that.

...

We've got a fever, we're hot, we can't be stopped!

Appreciation session. Everyone had a piece of paper tied to their back to allow the others to pen down their unspoken words. I've got 2 pages filled with comments about my dance, haha.

I've been feeling solicituous towards this particular NUS annual mega event the moment i stepped foot in this university. Apparently, everybody has been raging about Rag Day even before semester ended early this year. It's a super huge deal for the halls as well as the faculties. It's amazing the great lenghts one will go through in the name of pride, grappling with months of painstaking hardwork for that moment of glory.

Rag Day @ Padang

Us showing our undying devotion and support to our respective faculties even if it cost our delicate skins to melt under the merciless hot sun. The whole padang was sweltering with heat it's almost unbearable. Being the puteri lilin as i always am, i'm willing to stay throughout the whole Rag which was quite amazing actually. haha.

Suyin and Andrew representing the Pharmacy Society.

Feast your eyes upon the NUS's amazing floats of 2007.

Law Club was completely overshadowed by the others, they didn't even bother to disguise the lorry head.

My favourite float among the others, the colours are just so vibrant!

Kudos to all the NUS students who were invovled in Rag+Flag day where we discover our passion, and let the others witness our spirit. Eventhough Science Faculty didn't manage to secure the Vice Chansellor's Shield, to me, we are still the champion. There were no other faculties nor halls that cheered as hard as we Science people do, there were no others that can match up to our passion, our love for this faculty.

Next year, we'll be back, stronger than ever!

WALAO!

2007-08-09T01:46:00.000+08:00

Never flag without a flag tee!

Yup, yesterday was NUS Flag Day where you can witness the whole Singapore engulfed in the colour of pink. Swarms of NUS students from different faculties and halls, clad in their oversized pink Tshirt were ready to take on this small island even before dawn broke, to raise fund for the 20 beneficiaries on this special day.

DONATE!!!

My enthusiasm superimposed with the fear of approaching strangers for money, and i was unsure if i would be able to take on this task since i've never done such thing before. It was quite normal to the Singaporeans as they have done it in high school and junior college.

To overcome this fear, i told myself 2 things:
One, i am doing this for Science faculty.
This might sound cheesy to my seniors who're currently reading this, but I really fell in love with this faculty since i joined SOW. Although most presidents probably give speech with similar contents, our Science president did inspire me and made me wanna help this faculty to win back the Vice Chansellor's Shield this year.

Two, i wanna do some good deeds.
Every single cent i've collected does make a difference. i imagine the people i've helped when someone drops a coin into my can. The rush of satisfaction and contentment i experieneced were inexplicable as my can weighing heavier and heavier with each minute passes by.

It was all about hard work and determination and there was times where i was closed to giving up, especially when this middle aged caucasian tourist asked me to fuck off. "I won't donate a single cent! you are all bluffing clowns!" So uncalled for.

After attacking almost every passer by that came across my vicinity, i managed to collect 1 3/4 cans. The best among my other OG members! *grin*

Finally finished Harry Potter. Studying in NUS is like studying in Hogwarts, with numerous abbreviations to remember, there's also Freshmen Inaugeration Ceremony minus the feast!

Freshmen Inaugeration Ceremony inside the University Cultural Centre hall.

My group was seated in the first row, but that didn't stop us from dozing off during the addresses by Vice President of NUSSU (NUS Student Union) and Prof Shih Choon Fong. The processional entry by the University's Senior Management, Masters of Halls and Student Leaders was grand where professors were seen in their elegant robes and student leaders in their smart suits. I can totally imagine how my graduation day is going to be like!

Besides the usual unavoidable speeches, we also had a couple of performance like Salsa dance, Acapella by Resonance, and some rock songs from a band called Blame The Drummer.

Blame The Drummer (Vin claimed it's a silly name)

The lead singer was Mr.NUS 2006. OK ok only lar. The guitarish was quite stylo, while i was admiring the spirited and nimble fingers of BTD's guitarist dancing across the guitar strings, i wonder how come my boyfriend was never so 'yeng'? Haha.

The babi-s and babi blondes all dressed up immaculately for the ceremony.

After the FIC, we headed down to Settler at Holland Village to hang out. Settler is a small cafe that approaches the teenagers where you can hang out with your friends and relax on their soft cozy couches and big pillows. They have alot of interesting board games for us to play and the workers there are ever ready to assist you in the games.

The babi-lonians again, all high with all the screaming and forfeiting.

My Fright Night buddies.
Few years back in Taekwondo camp, ai ting, me and the others protested against the fright night programme (ended up 'bu shuang-ing' with the camp directors) but this time there was no way out. Somehow i managed to muster a fragment of braveness for this awaiting terror ride.

We had to take a lift up to the 5th floor in SOC (School of Computing) and the moment the lift door slide opened, we were greeted by a ghost in green raincoat. (see also: I Know What You Did Last Summer) I grabbed a fistful of my friend's shirt with my heart palpitating wildly and walked along the route that was dimly lit with those neon lights arranged on the floor. Damn scared.

At one point we were told to cross the bridge which links SOC to FOS (Faculty of Science, told you there's alot of abbreviations) The moment i stepped out, someone grabbed me by the leg. But it didn't end there.

We walked into an even darker corridor and the only sound that could be heard was an eerie chinese funeral song playing softly in the backgroud. Kononye there's a funeral ceremony being held in a particular room with a coffin at the left corner and also joss sticks, oranges on a table covered with white cloth. When we stepped inside the room, the ghost just crawled out underneath the table. Abit cliche, but i still screamed on top of my lungs.

Halfway through the corridor, a female ghost appeared out of nowhere and started chasing us. My friend hit her by reflect until he smeared her black make-up although we were told not to hit or slap the seniors.

Thanks CK! For being the man and took care of Jia Min and I! haha.

War Games.

The girls and i, shopping at Orchard Road.

The epitome of vanity.

Farewell lunch at big Bosses with Su Ann's cousin from USA who thought turtle was tortoise and vice versa.

Dim Sum at half price, quite worth it. Don't worry mother, only $7.

Cameras are actually prohibited. But i snapped pictures at any chance i got while the waitress was not looking. hehe.

The interior of the restaurant where east meets west. Dark brown wooden chairs and traditional round shaped tables with a bar in the middle of the restaurant.

Few sides of the restaurant are adorned with expensive wine bottles and exquisite tiny teapots.

Vintage lanterns.

That's all for now.
More to come, mates.

I love NUS right now.
Will be a different stories when lectures and tutorials start. ><

2007-08-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

Heaps of pictures awaiting to be shared, but too little time with too much going on at once. ~~yeah, like spending close to 2 hours crapping lame jokes with the seniors at the canteen~~

Soon, i promise!

2007-08-03T09:54:00.000+08:00

SOW played this game which was similar to a Taiwanese programme (Shi Zi Lu Kou) called 'The Amazing Food Race'. We started off at LT32 with the starting dish and a station named ABC and we have to makan 3 dishes in each station to complete the food chain, for instance: Hokkien Mee-Mee Goreng-Goreng Ayam and yada yada yada. So 5 stations mean 15 dishes for the 16 of us. Each checkpoint will have 2 station masters and we're supposed to fullfill the task that was given by the SM before they hand us the next clue.

Since every hawker stall shares the same design and it's hard to distinguish them from each other, we cheated. Haha. Food chain was completed quickly so we could finished as many dishes as possible in just a single station. Saved up lots of time in the coming stations. I'm sure the other groups used the same tactic as well. =p

Babylonians in action.

The sucking thumb pose.

Their hokkien mee is wet. Most of the foods in Singapore are tasteless unless you add sambal in it, after that, your whole bowl of noodles will only taste of chilli, nothing else. I miss malaysia's char kuew teow and prawn mee and maggi goreng! But they do have more varieties of desserts though.

Our task was not easy. Like this biting bitergourd dipped in mustard relay.

Our OGL (Orientation Group Leader) Kenny. We nicknamed him Klumzy Kenny because he kept on slipping while we were mass dancing. Pity him la, seeing him as my dance partner and have to carry my handbag for me since i was always late for SOW.

Finale Night Performance

My darling dancers and I. They really put it all out last night, and i appreciate the tremendous effort they gave. I hoped everyone enjoyed the journey as much as i do! We had a spendid performence, according to our seniors and friends. our performance was ended with everyone singing Rasa Sayang on stage where a few of our seniors came out from the audiences to join in.The OSA (Official Student Affair) even request us to do this every year, this goes to show that we really show the true Malaysian spirit. Damn proud la. *snif*

Residence Assistant and his friend singing some chinese songs.

The pail drummers and the dancers.

Andrew was feeling paiseh because the other guys were showing off their music talents, singing romantic songs to the crowd while they were only hitting pails. I promise next time if we get the chance, we'll be hitting the 24 season drums!

Moi! and Rafi, our Residence 2 RA.

The rest of night was spent partying, jumping, dancing, and shaking. I swear I never ever partied so hard in my life before, since i wasn't allowed to club. Everyone just let their guards down and joined in for the fun, although some introverts that loathe loud music and crowds probably chose to stay in bidding modules.

Was knocked out towards the end.

2007-08-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

My battery is going to kong soon.
I can see zombies wandering around NUS campus everywhere.

Fatigue due to major sleep deprivation with a ferocious migraine attacking soon, i'm exhausted. Slept for 3 hours last night only to wake up at 5.30 in the morning to do my student pass at ICA and then bought those ding ding dang dang bangles for the performance tomorrow at Little India after that have to rush back to campus for SOW'07 (Oh yea, i managed to get into SOW! it was so last minute) left around 6 so i can practise the dance for the very last time before the show.

I failed my QET, damn sad.

Tomorrow will have CORS bidding session where all the students have to bid for their desired modules using the alloted points. Cacat system. I am planning to take Linear Algebra I, Calculus, Fundamental of Mathematics, Principle of Economics & Singapore Studies. Plus English of course. *snif*

Mass Dance and Campus Amazing Race for SOW follow by PGP finale night performance at night. I actually got free ticket to attend the bonfire in Sentosa Island held by Eusoff Hall, but it clashes with the finale night! Again, damn sad.

Finally matriculated. Officially an NUS student now. =)

Student Organizations Bazaar a.k.a Matriculation Fair at MultiPurpose Sports Hall 1. The merry crowd was made up of enthusiastic seniors who were busy recruiting new members whenever freshies walked by their booth.

Freebies and goody bags shoved into your arms! Syok!

Some pictures from SOW.

My group members - Babylon
I'm the only Malaysian in the midst of a bunch of *thank god* friendly and cuckoo Singaporeans.

Lecture Theatre 32 where everyone is supposed to camp out for the whole orientation week while i'm sitting in my room blogging. Haha.

Jia Min & I. She's cute and sweet with a touch of shyness but came out of her shell eventually. Her gimmicks and the way she talks remind me so much of Siew Wui.

Accio Xiao Chen!
OK, my bed summoning me. Ciao.

2007-07-30T09:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday had been an emotional roller coaster ride where tears were shed and hurtful words were exchanged, which i have a feeling that the time-of-the-month hormones imbalance had much to contribute for.

Along the journey of overcoming emotional obstacles like materialism and weight obsession, another tidal wave comes folding in with full force, leaving me struggliing for air.
I always fail to accept cristism with an open mind, due to my refusal of letting go my pride, somehow someway i'll always find excuses to justify the words i speak and the way i act.

A friend told me people tend to leave a lasting impression on him. What kind of impression i left you? i asked. Not wanting to offend me, he declined to talk about it but i kept on pushing. i wished i haven't done so since some things are better left unsaid.

Image concious, i am, a little bit above average compare to the others where i do not be seen in the usual t-shirt and jeans and have a penchant to dress a little bit more fancier than my uni-mates.

Self-centered, i am, where i dislike succumbing to defeat and i have a problem letting go of my pride. whenever an argument was not won, i resort to the most childish way of offering the silent treatment.

He also revealed that i am those who will try to be someone else just to fit in to a certain crowd.
Being afraid of loneliness and admitance of needing companion (as in friends, family and boyfriend) doesn't mean i give up on being myself where i honestly have no idea how to not be myself.

I felt attacked, offended, and indignant, although i called this upon myself. yes, i feel such way because deep down inside, i know, he had spoken the undeniable truth about me. Right then and there, i am left barenaked, having him reading me like a book although he had only know me for 2 weeks.

Who gives him the right to judge me that way? What makes him think that he truly understands me, know who i am and where i'm coming from? He has no right to strip me in the way he did.
But that's what he thought, everyone is entitled to their own opinions right?

Just like how he predicted, i resort to the silent treatment.
I regret my overreaction, for it's stupid to lose a friend over such petty matters but i can't help but feel like the very last bit of my pride had just been shattered. He acted as a reminder of how messed up i already am.

I feel broken.

I miss Malaysia's rich and bitter Kopi and their very own homemade kaya french toast. Singapore's kopitiams just aren't authentic and old-skool enough.

Of course, Cendol and ABC!

Captain's Ball competition on Friday night.
I declare, i am going to give up on sports! The ball didn't even reach my hand during the first half of the game. And when my friend finally decided to pass the ball to me, it hit me right in the eye. *crow flies by-kuek kuek kuek...*

Our team lost at 26-4 to the Underdogs team.

Red Hot Stars and Psychos United discussing strategies for the upcoming final.

The champions. Both teams are from MSL! Kim Wong, *cough* trying to blend in with the stars although he was from the Oldies teams as in veterants! haha

A few random pictures.

Hopefully our national day will be celebrated with every single one of them above.

The central business district of Singapore.

Message on NUS internal shuttle bus.

2007-07-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

Mr.Procrastination, may you burn in hell and never ever ever EVER come bug me again.
So this is how mr.procrastination ruined my life:
He distracted me from registering for my SOW'07 (Science Orientation Week) and after registering one day before the stipulated deadline i got rejected! Now everyone will get to enjoy their university orientation while i sit in my hostel having fungus growing all over my body.

Ms.Laziness, you've done enough damage in my life so i wish you will join the idiot mentioned above in hell as well.
She dosed me, resulting in the blankness of my CCA part of my accomodation application. This means i gave up my chance of getting accepted into halls and ended up in PGP.

There's no one to be blamed but myself. =(
What am i to do during the O-week?

Let me crawl to the corner and drown in my own sorrow.
Shopping is therapeutic, but i've vowed to stop splurging ~~the top i bought today doesn't count~~ and help my parents to save money.
So Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, will you kindly be my companion?

Syer & I at Dome's Cafe this morning. Thank God you ain't got an Irish brogue girlie! My Gourmet Chicken & Mushroom Pie was yummy but not really worth RM21 leh, but kesian Syer for having to use her full force trying to slice the bread apart. Had a blast with this graceful and sweet girl although brunch was cut short because Syer had to fetch her brother to school. Girlie, you take care in Dublin alright? And i'm genuinely happy knowing that you and Calvin are still going strong.

I teared reading Tuesdays with Morrie. Morrie reminds me so much of my grandfather, for he was and still is my favourite grandparent, my tutor, and my childhood playmate.

Morrie fell into a coma and everyone stayed up beside him days and night. Just when they were out for coffee, the first time that no one was with him, he left. Author felt that Morrie wanted to go this way, refused to let anyone to witness his last breath and be haunted by it, and coincidentally, that's how my grandpa left us. Left when no one was there to witness it as well, and i hoped he went serenely.

I miss you, gong gong.

PS: This is my new Singapore address, incase you peeps wanna send my flowers, cookies or chocolates to show some love.
Block 2, #04-02,Room D,
21 Prince George's Park,
Singapore 118240

And my new number - +6593763657

PPS: My protuding tummy is disgusting. Gotta stop eating like i've been starved for months. ><

2007-07-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

The ever-energetic and comical seniors amused me since the first day of my arrival.
Seriuosly, who can come up with this kinda cheer?

This is your banana,
Na na na na na,
This is my BANANA,
na na na na na,
I 'UM' your banana,
Na na na na na,
Now you have no banana,
Ha ha ha!

Perverts *shake head*

Just came back from a round of stomach crunching laughing session in the seniors' block where those gluttons (99% guys) gobbled down the remaining chicken wings from last night's bbq. I amazed myself for having the semangat to join supper after spending the whole day at Bugis,Orchard, Lavender and Novena. i'm taking the 1pm bus to go home today for 4 days!

We played this super blardy funny game that got everyone so excited until we had to use this childish way to discipline each other before waking the whole block's residents up. We placed a pan in the middle of the table and those who wanna speak up must put their hand on the pan, only one hand is allowed on the pan each time. it's pretty amusing to observe a bunch of 21 years old guys giggling like some high school teenagers. too tired to explain how the game goes.

When i sed i have a few pictures for your viewing pleasure, i totally underestimated myself.

I have LOADS.

the whole MSL in front of Singapore National Library.

Picnic in Sentosa Island.
The trip created an oppurtunity for us to get to know each other more, and i love the teams' cheers! so creative and original although i don't understand Hokkien! im sure i'll pick it up in no time since everyone seems to be communicating in that dialect.

It was a fun filled trip nontheless.

But...

How did my team manage to lose every single game that was played? We lost the treasure hunt and were forfeited in all 4 station games. Pure bad luck i tell you.

Studying is not the only thing NUS students are capable of.

Prince George Park's barbeque pit.

Preparing the bbq night for the seniors.

Moi & Annie. only both of us layan the guys tonight. thought they were so nice wanted to ajak us play games but their only intention was to have somoebody to cook the chicken wings for them which we gladly obliged of course.

New friends from Ipoh, Perak. I found my new click where i can practice my China Cantonese slang with! I used to do that with my Ipoh friend back in NS as well!

Wai Kit (director of UFO2) and I. a wonderful and shy lad who had given me so much guidance upon my arrival in NUS. Thank you, you wonderful senior. I know you're not very good in expressing yourself through words but i'm sure all the freshies acknowledged your tremendous effort in making this UFO2 a success.

Swee Lian, me and Kenny. Kenny's ambition is to become a teacher, i salute!

Daniel and i. he's like a big teddy bear with a blithe spirit and the mastermind behind our freshmen cheer. Good job Dan, our cheer rocks! Next time remember to treat me in Sketches ok? And water is complimentary.

Inspirational and self-sacrificing and funny and perasan Kim Wong and I. Fuzzy Wuzzy, i enjoy every bits of your lame games! I wanna play Polar Bear!!!

Sue Mei is a singaporean who is currently working as a dietetian in NUH.

Super super senior Thomas a.k.a Gong Gong who gave me an enlightening talk last night.
Let loneliness, studies, interaction with the people around you to be the hindrances in our life, stop comparing with the ones around you for complacency will come one day when you've done your best, he told me. Such wise words they are.

Andrew, me, Annie, Bo Siung & James.
Andrew, next time blink properly when we're playing Mafia alright?

From left: Kai Lin, Boon Thiong, moi and Andrew.
People kept claiming that Kai Lin and I look like siblings, so he's my ko ko now. haha. and we look nothing alike ok

Elin, moi, Ling Zhi, Hui Fen! and sorry i can't remember your name! (i don't think i ask for her name actually, oops)

My buddy (& Swee Lian) who teman me for the whole day to buy my bus ticket and who will be escorting me to board the bus tomorrow as well. I'll look for the cheapest cake in msia and buy you alright? Quit bugging me about that already, not baking one for you. haha. and im gonna read harry potter before you!

Choon and I. The event manager for the bbq night, great job girl, too bad we didn't get to the game and voting session due to the tight schedule. At least it didn't rain. =)

We managed to plan the barbeque night with only one day of preparation. Everyone in the ad hoc was so united and organized that made me realized how crucial team spirit is. Of course they will always be some people who feel dissatisfy towards the others, but like Chee Han said, as a team, we should set our differences aside with an open mind and together, we will be strong enough to overcome each obstacle that comes our way and at the end of the day, our goal will be reached.

In just 5 days, i've grown so much. NUS is a smarties abundant place, and i've learnt to detach myself from envy and start learning from the people around me with a more positive attitude and revel in it.
University is a new ball game. Hopefully, i can stop being disillusioned and finally find clarity in my life. Stop living life by buying the culture that doesn't make me feel good about myself. Stop living life half asleep chasing the wrong things that i once thought was important.

MSL seniors had taught me how to give without expecting any returns. Their kindness, affections, and guidance filled me like an overflowing soup bowl. And hosting a wonderful BBQ night is not yet the best way to thank them. It is to continue spreading MSL and helping the future freshmen in the years to come, with the same dedication and devotion like theirs.

PS: Pictures of my room which cost $1080 per semester.

2007-07-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

I don't have the time for any long winded post right now since i've been busy busy busy, therefore, resulting in brain dysfunctional.

Anyway, i promise i'll update you guys on my new overwhelming and refreshing campus life by this week ok? I won't renege! Hopefully with some pictures to feed your daily dose of voyeurism but forgive me with the pictures of low qualities becuase i couldn't edit efficiently without a mouse!

QET (Qualifying English Test) tomorrow which i have absolutely zero expectation of passing. Some of the new freshies actually went to the lounge to discuss about this test (walau, semester hasn't started already so hardworking!) but i just headed back to my room straight. since you know you're already failing, might as well hit the sack earlier and get a few extra hours of beauty sleep.

Tomorrow the seniors will be bringing the chicks to the city.

Miss home. Hello people in malaysia, i miss you loads.

2007-07-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

Goodbye malaysia! For now. Haha.
Will be back in 2 months time and i'm trying to lighten up the mood abit so i won't get all teary. Every ending is a new beginning isn't it? =)

I'll be blogging the next post in a foreign land, sitting on a, perhaps, less uncomfortable chair with the ubiqutous clattering sound produced by a different keyboard (possibly the old laptop my aunt gave me).

I should get to bed since I have to wake up before the dawn breaks.

Will be back after i settle everything in singapore (i hate going through those complicated procedures) and please pray hard that i get my intranet connection as soon as possible!

Take care my friends. Love you all. Mwah.

2007-07-13T02:10:00.000+08:00

3 more days lef. the last minute bug will bite me soon if i don't start packing now. Yikes!

Sometimes it's best stick to what we know.
Don't ever go to Piccolo Mondo. EVER. It's a waste of money and i can't believe we paid for the morsel of chicken and pineapples (Hawaiian pizza) for 25bucks. Besides the generous serving of Italiannies and their top notch services, they also have complimentary breads. the stamped with burnt garlics punye garlic bread in PM costs RM10.

Finally watched Transformer. Fell asleep in between the movie as a result of my 4 hours sleep the previous night. I was never a transformer fan, didn't follow the cartoon when i was a kid last time, my childhood hero was the locust transformer, 蒙面超人! but the show was very entertaining and exciting, i'm amazed at how 'mobile' and alive the robots are. hell, i'm just intrigued at how far the films industry has come, with those mind-blowing CGI effects.

Oh yea, i managed to fix my ipod! All by myself! *beam proudly* i didnt succumb to mediocrity afterall heh.

I just remembered winnie's mother's birthday falls on the same day as my mom's. I was telling her about my disastrous cake while chatting on MSN this afternoon.

"I'm broke lar, have to buy present for my mom."
"I baked her a cake. but very teruk."
"At first i thought it was secret recipe!"
Just when i wanted to jump up and dance in euphoria, she continued saying,
"After i read and found out that you made it yourself ar, i scrolled up and look at the picture again."
"And it is really very teruk."

Damn kek.

My not bitter enough Magaritha at Luna Bar.

Happy 16 months, Mr Wong.

I was drunk before i went into the bar and sober on my way home.

Why you will ask.
because my intention was to spend a nice romantic evening with the boyfriend in this two-storey open roof bar restaurant, to enjoy the breath-taking view of KL under the elegant atmoshpere. But we didn't make any reservation so no pool side seats for us. damn disappointed. then, the bf feels like the place is run-of-the-mill with their overpriced drinks and finds the music annoying. i was already abit annoyed at him for being so unromantic so our stay there was a short one.

"Why you so unromantic one? you don't like this don't like that, no taste for classy places."
"Not that i dont like, sometimes it's the circumstances that don't allow me to. don't you realize that this kinda thing just isn't for people your age?"

Then the sudden realization hit me. and it hit me hard.

Did i just pay 30bucks for a glass of magaritha?

Why would I want to do that? Was I out of my mind? My parents are saving every penny they have to support me in NUS and here i am splurging like a spoilt princess. I envy those who spend their night in pubs and clubs dressed in their clubbing suits drinking shots. i want to dine in expensive places and be seen in branded clothes, living the wild bohemian lifestyle.

i used to have a niche in life. ok lar, not like i know what i want to do with my life but i know somewhere inside me, i have a purpose. i have a niche.

But now?
I derailed.

This realization hit me hard. it attacked me from every direction that cannot be warded off even with the best shield. for the past few months, i've chosen the wrong things to believe in, thinking that i was right all the while and shrugged off every piece of advice that was given to me from the loved ones.

it's a stab to my heart to admit that i am slowly becoming more superficial, selfish and materialistic. Mom was right, i care about nothing but myself. there's a younger sister who needs proper guidance at her age and i should be taking care of her, looking out for her and yet, i spent the last 6 months at home, only to realize i cannot get into her world. i wanted to start trying now but i'm leaving in 3 days. the selfishness in me has risen to such a level that i blurted something that was totally irresponsible and unforgivable to vincent which i am too ashamed to share it with you guys. i'm so weight obsessive i weigh myself at least 5 times a day. once after every meal and sometimes i jump right back on the scale hoping i will be a quarter pound lighter after i shit.

Confession should be made, that i am indeed messed up.

I'm feeling conscentious this moment.
Perhaps, i can still rescue myself from this trap i've set myself to fall into.
Hopefully, it's not too late to make a change.

2007-07-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

My mother is sitting approximately 4 metres away from me, marking her students' never-ending compositions while i'm writing this and the ubiqutous sound in the study room will be the sound of the friction between her feet because, irritably she always likes to rub her feet whenever she sits down to do whatever she is doing. And this is one of those little things i'll miss when i'm far away from home. Like how I miss my grandpa's sneezing noise at 6oclock in the morning after he left us. One day you're going to blow your nose off, my mom used to tell her old man.

My wonder woman turns 47 today.
Happy Birthday, Ah Mi.

You'll be joining the 50's club in no time! Wakaka

No, I'm not like my brother who will purposely stayed up until 12am this morning just to be the first person to wish her happy birthday. Like my mom, I'm not good at expressing my feelings through words. I find it very geli to mutter 'i love you' to my mom face to face. So for being the coward that I am today, I'll utilize this blog as a platform to say it now, to mutter all those words I never had the courage to speak in person.

Your daughter, me, is not as kiamsiap as you think I am ok? Next time when I start my own career, i'll accrue a bunch of cash for you to go shopping ok? 'Provision for mother's shopping spree' will appear in my balance sheet, don't worry.

From where I've been to where I am, I thank you for being there for me. No words need to be spoken, for I know you are proud of me as your daughter, and you give me more than I could ever asked for.

You're the best mother in the world, Ma. I love you.

Birthday gift for my mother, chilled lemon cheese cake that has an uncanny resemblence to the moon surface.

Subhen was kind enough to be my driver, escorting me to shop for the ingredients. So he's not absolutely hopeless afterall. Haha. Do you feel vindicated now Subhenawati?

I was so disappointed with myself, because the whole cake was disastrous. I had to add a 2nd layer to it because the first layer was too thin and it looked more like a chilled lemon cheese pie. Turned out the first layer was too hard (too much gelatin) and too soft as of the second layer, and bubbles on top of the cake which I tried to cover it with strawberries in vain.

Your sister and father teasing you didn't help much either.
"Maybe the biscuit is the only edible part,"
"Can I just eat the base?"
"Hey, at least you did a good job at slicing the strawberries."

Fine lar, it tastes nothing like Secret Recipe but those hurtful comments were uncalled for ok?

What's the point of spending all your time and effort into this when all you feel is underappreciated at the end of the day? I wondered myself with a bruised ego.

I was even reluctant to let anyone taste the cake because i'm to afraid to see their disgusted reaction after the first bite. I mean no harm to anybody, honestly.

"You know your own family la! Always like to za each other to the max, never leave face one. I thought you should be used to it by now."
That's very enlightening, baby. ><

But I find solace in knowing that my mom is touched by my gesture. That's all it matters i guess. ~~try to forget that mom only had a slice~~

My boy and I in Italiannies. Remember the part where petinence grabbed me by consuming beef? It happened again. This time it was the Napoli Bianco Pizza. May I rot in hell for my sins.

Boyfriend likes the place, "Honey, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," he said to me.
When the restaurant started playing Frank Sinatra's 'Fly Me To The Moon', he opened his mouth to sing along and it was all so sweet and heart warming, listening to my boy's awful tuneless yet romantic version of his very own Fly Me To The Moon while enjoying the great tasting cheesy pizza.

Oh yeah, Subhen TRIED to sing too the other day when I was in his car. It was Daniel Benningfield's 'If You Are Not The One'. Oh My Lordie it was so damn freaking hilarious. No, he didn't only sing but he had to turn his head around and stare at me while he was singing. I was too dumbfounded to give him any smart remarks. Too shocked to laugh even.

Sub, if you had sing 'If You Are The One' to me sooner, I wouldn't have been at the moon already with my tone deaf boyfriend.

Afternoon tea at Big Apple's Donuts & Coffee.
I find their donuts better than Dunkin Donut's. Smaller, lighter and softer.

Hmm...time to get back to Prison Break.

I knew something will happen to Veronica Donovan because her face didn't appear when they play the intro. And guess what? She was shot in the 2nd Episode. Smart leh.

2007-07-03T11:22:00.000+08:00

I am medical examination phobic. Forget about the fact that my eating pattern has gone hay-wired for the past few years, what if I also have high blood pressure? High cholestrol? Kidney failure? Hepatitis? ~~thank god i don't have to worry about STDs, i'm a good girl after all~~

Wait a second...

Guess Hyperglycemia is more likely.

Saturday - Ais Kacang with brother.
Sunday - Cendol with sis and Mom's green beans dessert in the afternoon
Monday - Gei Dek Sek desserts again with parents
Today - Primary school math teacher's tiramisu.

*dread*

Hey, at least this is a proof that I do eat, although I love all the unhealthiest food in the world. And what's with the speculations surrounding my boobs lately? Makes me wonder if my assets are under scrutinity all the while. Haha. ~~tak tau malu~~ It's real ok! And it shrunk, i get it. Maybe the Jolin Tsai's wearing a bra size smaller method has to be implied already.

2007-07-01T19:54:00.000+08:00

Ping Ting and I finally realised our italiannies shopping trip, after like god knows how long. Cat Whiskers' wide and colourful selections just made all of us went rambang mata, they have plentiful of chic and trendy outfits i wish i have the time to try every single one of them on. ~~and have the money to buy all my faves of course~~ Only got a huge brown handbag which I plan to take to class and a short black skirt.

Anyway,
Eloborating on our shopping experience is plain superflous since you guys probably know how girls can get when they shop.

After a round in Cat Whiskers, we headed to Italiannies at The Curve for lunch.

Kenny Sia once blogged about the generous servings in Italiannies, claiming that one dish is enough to feed 5 Sanjayas, so we didnt dare to order too much.

Starters: Not so freshly baked ciabatta bread dipped in olive oil and vinegar.

Our Flings Flings

The Casablanca we ordered (far left) remind us of those pink antibiotics we used to take back then! It's sour and fruity the second it enters your mouth, but the after taste is just horrible. *cringe*

Lasagna A La Biancini

This chicken lasagna didn't tatilate my taste buds much, probably because I was just too full to genuinely enjoy it. Althought Ai Ting felt like it's one of the best out of all she has eaten.

Classic Carbonara

Creamy and cheesy. Simply fantastic. Feel abit petinent because i'm not supposed to eat beef! A 'Must Try' people!

Smoked Salmon Pizza

I can't believe this orgasmic dish only costs RM26.90! It's big enough to feed 4 persons. Each slice of pizza is topped with a piece of my good friend Samie. Samie is cooked just nice, abit salty but blends perfectly with the cheese. I lurve it.

Ping Ting, Siew Wui, me & Ai Ting, with our tummies filled and purses berlubang. *burp*

Could it be a coincidence? T6 calls it 'xin zhang you kong'.
Ai Ting and I looked like those PC fair girls, since both of us were spotted with the same colour tops. Me hor, so nice didn't point out that she copied my style then she dared to tembak me on her blog said I followed her! This best friend of mine also tak tau malu wan lor, wakaka. =p

I'm so going back after I stop feeling 'zai' for Italian food. Haha.

PS: Our last breakfast with Sarcastic Chien before she left for Kedah. I'll miss you, Chien!

2007-06-27T14:03:00.000+08:00

The clock is ticking.
I'm just 3 weeks away from leaving, and the thought of parting from my family and boyfriend is finally hitting me with full force. Have been suffering from a mild malaise for the past few days as a result of sleepless nights, sudden anxiety and sombre mood. I want to hold on to every moment i have left here but time just passes so quickly like grains of sands slipping through my fingers. *emo*

Can someone please pass me the timer in Crash Team Racing where I can slow the time down?

Maybe I'm just PMSing lah, you know how girls can get during their auntie visit.

Anyway, besides dealing with my own emo-ness I watched the thai horror 'ALONE' with Vin. The movie is about a pair of Siamese twins where one died and the other survived during their seperation. And you can pretty much guess the rest of the movie, like the decased came back and haunt the one that survived with the usual cliche shots.

See also: Ghost appearing in the bathroom mirror.

See also: Lights went out and the spirit jumping out from the closet.

Of course, I covered my eyes during most of the scary scenes. =p

Oh yea, did I mention that shopping is therapeutic?
I came home with 4 MNG tops for only $104! Do the math and it's only 26 per piece! If that's not a bargain I don't know what it is. =)

After a whole day of tiring activities like shopping, I almost wanted to just go home and hit the sack instead of showing up at Yin Chew's birthday party. But this will probably be the last chance to meet up with my old classmates, before everyone continues to persue their tertiary studies.

Me and the birthday boy.
~~please ignore my deflated boobs. it's saddening.~~

I feel so obligated to show up at his birthday party because he's the only gentleman in our class that will layan us girls whenever we wanted to hang out. The others are just plain...bleh.

U6SC1. Missing 2 of my fave girls! Winnie and my Xin Gan.

The beaming girl amid the other smiling ladies is none other than my future uni mate.

The '8' group of the night.

Take care, my f6 mates. All the best for your future undertakings!

A special thanks to my beloved boyfriend. <3 Thanks for having to deal with the irritating guards in front of Wisma Genting while I was busy chit chatting with my collegues in the office. Thanks for driving me to Yin Chew's birthday party where you know nobody and waited patiently for 3 hours just so you can send me home safe and sound. Thanks for putting up with my unpredictable moodswings and cooed me with sweet nothings to calm this bitch down. Thanks, for showering me with your perpetual affections and patience. I really hope I deserve you. =)

Digressing... So here's to test your english abit. Tell me what's wrong with the following statement. Subhen is a gentleman.

Let me tip you off with an anecdote Ai Ting and I encountered during our badminton session with Subhen today.

We went to mamak for a drink after the session and were arguing about the defination of 'puteri lilin'. You know la, the cantankerous Subhen can pick an argument out of anything.

Subhen,"So puteri lilin is someone who's afraid to go into the kitchen right?"
He's trying to tease me since I complained about walking to the badminton court under the hot sun. AGAIN.
Ai Ting and I were dumbfounded. "Puteri lilin is someone who's afraid of the sun la!"

"I dont believe you guys. I'm sure it has something to do with the kitchen."
"Ok lar, you call someone and ask who's correct then!"
"Call your brother, my sister or whoever..."
"Call Irene. She will sure say, "SUBHEN...WHAT LAR YOU..."
*rolled into fits of giggles*

"Call Caryn lar, she'll go, "SUUUBBBHHHHEEENNN!!!!!"
After much debate, he still wasn't convinced.

"Wanna bet or not?"
"Sure, bet what?"
"We're willing to bet ANYTHING, because we know we sure win wan..."
He hesitated. "Since you guys are so confident, dont want to bet with you guys la..."
Then he called Irene up to confirm. With his comical expression, we already knew what Irene was saying on the phone. But he's still defending himself!

"Since we're right, you treat us ABC lar. RM2.50 only ma."
"No, why should I?"
"Because you lost?"
"i didn't agree to the bet also?"

Since the mamak fella billed us at once, Ai Ting and I thought of not paying him back when he went to the counter to clear the bill.

RM1.60 - his 100 Plus
+ RM2.50 - Our Ais Kacang
----------
RM4.10
----------

"Eh, 2.50 less than 1 pound la, you don't so stingy lar..."
"No, I'm not paying for you."

And guess what he did?!?

He paid the fella 1.60, and let us paid the rest on our own.

Damn za dou.

Not that we didn't want to pay for our Ais Kacang, i'm sure you get what I mean.

So let me ask you again.
What's wrong with the statement: Subhen is a gentleman?

2007-06-23T12:01:00.000+08:00

Since I'm being the most considerate girlfriend in the world, I brought Vin to a hawker place in Kepong Baru named 'Gei Dek Sei' for breakfast instead of paying for the overpriced meals in 1Utama. They served Shanghai delicacies like sticky rice, steam carrot cake, dim sums and tong suis. All my favourites in one stall! But damn...

Even hawker foods are overpriced nowadays.

Like what Ai Ting said, the Fantastic 4 share similar powers with The Incredibles. Not a bad movie, but not great either to be frank. Although I must say, enough of heroic movies already! I miss epic movies like The Prestige and V for Vendetta.

After reading a review of Zuup the Soup Bar in Jackson's blog, we decided to give it a shot. The place is quintesentially cozy and relaxing, with plushy sofas and Jazz music playing in the background, I must admit it's a nice place to hang out with your loved ones if you fancy a quiet afternoon tea with your company. Their service is top notch, adores the young lad who treated us like VVIP. We'll be back, I promise. =)

Their Italian Forest is delicious, I'll try the Chocolate Fudge next time.

Oh, the good ol' humorous childhood friend is back from the UK. Great.

Thanks Subhen, for making me walked under the hot sun for half an hour yesterday, real good exercise you know. And the anecdote where we bumped into Catherine WHILE walking under the hot sun and damn, she will never ever believed that we're 'just friends'! Haha...It's good to have you back. You're rather entertaining and amusing.

Can we not talk about Surf's Up? It's predictable, cliche and uninteresting.

Later that night, we crashed into Chien Chien's new restaurant in Country Homes for dinner. To show our love and support to our friend. Had a hearty meal for the evening with lots of nonsensical crapping and catching up. Oh yea, we bumped into a few old friends well. =)

Pals, lets hang out more before I have to leave for Singapore!

Cake baking+sushi making experiences with an Angel <3

2007-06-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

First of all, forgive me for going ashen when I found out about by university application result.
They fucking gave me my 5th choice!
A 4.0 STPM student is granted with her 5th choice, and all the while you thought your efforts and iron will will pay off somehow.

I am so tired of complaining how unfair our country's ridiculous education system is because everyone knows those are just futile laments.

Our prime minister said he envisaged Malaysia as a truly developed country in 2057. I highly doubt that.

Digressing...

Spent 2 days at my angel's place learning how to bake a proper cake and roll some sushis. Hey, at least now I dare say I'm not that bad in the kitchen anymore! Hehe...

It took us more than 5 hours to bake our very own strawberry cheese cake although it tastes nothing like cheese! But our baby still tasted heavenly nontheless. =)

I can assure you that it tastes as titillating as it looks.

My angel's angel brought us to Kepong Baru's pasar malam for the night and my oh my, Rawang pasar malam is no comparison to the Kepong's pasar malam. We just lost in vain. They have so much delicious delicacies which you can never find in Rawang (exp: Vietnam popiah, takoyaki, taiwan sausages etc.) and shit loads of interesting stuffs as well. Ee ling was like, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe you haven't eaten this before!" Because the takoyaki is simply orgasmic.

The next day, we decided to get our hands on some sushis. Turned out not bad but will be better if the rice is less sticky and the tuna drier. but practice makes perfect! And it's definitely not bad for a first timer.

Caught in action.

Us. =)

Me not such a noob afterall.

2007-06-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

I relinquished my Kuantan trip which is supposed to take off today.
BECAUSE...
The paranoid boyfriend with his eloquent speech about how dangerous it is to travel at night nowadays and yada yada yada...

See also: Gang rape cases in Johor.

Planting images of big tall swarthy men clad in sombre outfits armed with 10inches long parangs robbing me in my head! sigh

2007-06-14T19:05:00.000+08:00

To my frenemy,

Your peculiar characteristics still perplex me sometimes although I've known you for lets see...16 years? Wow, we've come a long way! Haha.

Remember back in those primary school days where our competetive nature caused us to hate each other so much? Also the Russia-America Cold War period during form 1 & 2? Then to the founding of T6 followed by the stupid fight we had in form 5.

It's amazing how we managed to ride through all these waves and still be friends today. May we continue this perpetual friendship til our hairs turn grey and our souls grow old.

Happy 20th birthday, soon-to-be Doctor Leong. =)

A post dedicated to T6

2007-06-13T19:25:00.000+08:00

It was another one of my many 'first's yesterday, where I finally stepped foot into Green Box, Sungai Wang. And giving my first time to my childhood friends made it even more special, because we share a strong bond and played a huge part in each other's life where no one else in the world will understand.

We never ceased to crack stupid meaningless silly jokes and made a fool out of ourselves when we're together.

See also: singing songs by changing their lyrics and language.

After all these years, we're still as nonsensical, dynamic, cuckoo, hostile as ever (sorry, T6 girls are no sylphs), and the experiences we gain from the outside world are just beautiful embellishments to our friendship and we leverage it to become stronger, more independent and hopefully, more graceful. ~~which i doubt is possible~~

I love you dearly, women. =)

PS: We're not reponsible for the flash flood in KL ok?!?

2007-06-10T18:45:00.001+08:00

I'm officially umemployed which is a relief considering I've been working non-stop for the past 5 months. Time elapses so quickly, did I emerge as a better person and will I be able to leverage from my working experience in the future?

Anyway, holidays meaning lots of quality time with Vincent and my girlfriends. Better treasure my time in Malaysia before leaving for Singapore, where I embark a whole new journey in university. My heart feels heavy to leave this beloved soil ~~i told you i'm patriotic~~, damn I won't be able to celebrate my country's 50 years of independance with my fellow people! but it is a decision that has to be made, for a better and brighter future...is this the right path for me? Is this what I want to do with my life? These questions remain unanswered. I will let you guys know when I find them, it maybe tomorrow, or even in 10 years time. whatever it is, i just want to be a better person than i am today, to be smarter, sharper and wiser with my mediocre existence, to be able to love selflessly, and to be loved the same.

will be spending the remaining time here brushing up my deteriorating English so i won't die of inferiority disease in vain and of course, catch up on all the drama series I miss on AXN and Starworld. Maybe i should take up culinary instead in case i die of starvation in spore since i wont be able to afford decent meals over there. but isn't it sweet? knowing you won't have to die looking fat. Haha. just kidding, i'm not obsessed about weight til that extent. ~~that doesn't mean i'm ok with dying looking fat~~ paradoxical, don't mind me. =p

Hari Anugerah+Bangsar night outing+Yan Feei's big day

2007-06-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

I haven't abandoned my blog so hopefully you guys didn't either.

I apologize for hogging these pictures and leaving them berkulat in my camera for such a long time. But no worries, here is it! Pictures galore!

Hari Anugerah Cemerlang @ SMK Kepong

Attended my school's annual event with a few of my former classmates. We were the older ones in the venue (besides parents & teachers of course) and yet we made so much of noise i think the other kids wanted to seal our mouth shut with tapes. This usually happens when you don't see your friends for awhile.

My mother and I, when we're not fighting and jumping at each other's throat, we get along pretty well.

One of our juniors told my friend that Pn.Aw was complaining about students who forget about their teachers after they leave school and didn't even bother to greet them when they return to school occasionally. Rumours said that the student she was referring to was ME! So what did I do? I wrote her a Teacher's Day card and caught up with her purposely, in case she continues to mudsling me in front of my juniors again.

Didn't snatch the Anugerah Bestari but I bet my mother felt darn proud of me that morning. When we don't hate each other's guts we get along pretty well.

FA Cup Final @ Ronnie Q's, Bangsar

My first time to Bangsar (don't laugh guys),anticipating my favorite team to be a double champion, winning both the League Cup and FA Cup. But dang, luck was not on our side. We lost. Old news lah, we'll win next season. Don't worry.

Hey, guess what? I didn't drink! Isn't this amazing? It was a smart choice because dear Lim was driving without a driver's license (we weren't aware of that until we reached Rawang) and there was a police block on our way home. Thank God the cops didn't stop us. Imagine such delinquent behaviour, driving without license with alcohol running in our blood.

Dude, I hope you report it to the police already.

Yan Feei's wedding @ Fook Seng & Bukit Beruntung

Last month we found out about our primary classmate Yan Feei's marriage through her friendster pictures. Too shocked to handle such truth, I was surprised that she invited me for the wedding dinner. But hey, I'm just glad that she still remembers me.

She looked so different from how I rememberd her to be, but dang, the last time I saw her was like, 2 years ago? I saw her in a pharmacy once and didn't even bother to say hi, what a lousy friend I could be. To all my beloved peeps out there, if I see you across the street and pretend like I don't know you, I give you the green light to come over and slap me in the face. Haha.

The groom is quite leng chai, looks well mannered and polite. He's from a decent family, people said. All the best to you guys and God bless you and your unborn baby. Although dinner wasn't filled with unbriddled merriment, my friends and I still had a great time. Of course la, with 3 T6 members and Kee Kok Keat there, it's impossible for us to keep quiet. =)

Kok Keat, who loved to tease me for being fat back in primary school days. Ah...good old times. (except the being teased part)

6A classmates. So who's next?

the night was spent camwhoring, talking crap and catching up with each other. It was fun nevertheless.

The next day, we went to Yan Feei's house to '陪嫁'. Kononye wanna gain some experience. Haha. At least we get angpaus! Hehe.

We're responsible to give the groom a hard time before he can see her bride. So we came up with an idea where we left our lipstick marks on an A4 paper and the groom must recognize which one of them belongs to Yan Feei's. Like stuffs we watch on TV la, sadly we didn't get $9999. Lolz.

The Ji Muis.

Left around 3 something and had our late lunch at 1Utama. later that night, I went out yumcha with Sarcastic Chien, Ice princess Ting, Weirdo Caryn, Sporty Beh Beh and Mei Liang Xin Chen Yet. Talked for 4 hours non stop and came home with a sore throat. Good times, I must admit.

So that's all for now. Gotta head to bed. Work tomorrow. Aih.

2007-05-03T21:10:00.000+08:00

To my beloved talented Chris,

I will miss your charming and boyish smile, your beautiful haunting eyes, and your sexy smooth voice.

OK, back to mourning now.

PS: I'm not 100% going to NUS , just got an offer over there. Still waiting for the offer letter to arrive and then I will weigh my options. So no worries peeps, I'll still be around for the time being. =)

2007-05-02T14:47:00.000+08:00

I got accepted into NUS under Faculty of Science.

I'm back!!!!!

2007-04-28T11:10:00.000+08:00

Stressful week so far and thank God it's Saturday.

I enjoy my work but sometimes it can be pretty taxing. Mainly because I'm not familiar with accounts and what I've learnt during form 4 & 5, I already pass it all back to Sir Mages.

But I'm not complaining la. No one in their right mind will complain about my job, accept the travelling of course. I mean, for 60 bucks a day, it's million times better than working in the customer service line.

Coffee+music+air-cond+money+work=???

You do the math. I'm content with that. =) Not to mention that I get to dress pretty to work like a professional office lady everyday.

But don't go thinking what I do is easy. =p I've got to anaylze Asiatic's subsidiaries year end files that's about 2 inches thick every day. According to Scott, I sit in a pathetic noisy server roomand sometimes the noise drives me crazy when I'm trying to think. I wanna move!!!

This week was a bit stressful because Asiatic Golf Course Bhd and Asiatic Land Development Sdn Bhd both are big companies and there's just so much to analyse and I checked my work for 3 times and above. Numbers are gonna insane-kan me one day. And when I don't understand what my collegue is trying to explain to me, I feel stupid and incompetent and inefficient. And I suddenly feel like I'm slacking and exhausted.

I'm sure after a good rest in the weekends, I'll be ready for new challenges by Monday.

I'm still alive.

2007-04-21T19:01:00.000+08:00

Just so you know, I'm not dead yet.
Computer is being treated in the hospital right now. Geramla.

Here's some outdated pictures from Chooi's 21st birthday bash last week.

Chooi, you're a really wonderful wonderful guy and I'm lucky to have you as my friend. You're just like my big kor kor, giving me guidance and listen to my stupid silly rants.

Please, find a girlfriend cepat cepat! Aging liao la.

Some old school mates from Seri Garing.

That's all for now. Hopefully my computer will recover soon.

2007-04-10T21:47:00.000+08:00

Screw Keretapi Tanah Melayu.
Screw Metrobus.
Screw Rapid KL.

SCREW ALL THE PUBLIC TRANSPORTS IN MALAYSIA!
Our country's public transports are the most inefficient, screwed up, dangerous, uneffective and lousiest.

Gangguan track, gangguan kuasa elektrik, no air cond, delayed, slow...blah blah blah blah blah.
I'm so sick of it.
Your fucked up services are seriously menganggu-ing my ass. How can the government encourage people to use the public transport when they cause more trouble than convenience?

Anyway,
I had quite an eventful weekend last week!

Saturday was spent generously with Chien Chien. Lunched at Madam Kwan's (I belanja ok!) and caught a movie (she belanja-ed) 'Just Follow Law'. A funny yet meaningful story where a few tears were shed towards the end. You know me la, soft hearted ma.

Went to Persatuan Kow Chow to collect $$$ before heading back to Johor for Ching Ming. After this year, no more money to take from all these Persatuan Persatuan liao. Fortunately, with my STPM results I still manage to receive a hell lots of cash this year. Hehe...

13 years of collecting 'jiang xue jin' proved that I am indeed a good student~!

Nothing interesting about the Johor trip. We follow the exact same schedule just like every other year.

Afternoon go back reach around evening then go to my uncle's place to eat lots of char kuey teow and fried lobak after that stayed overnight at my aunt's place and go pray pray in the morning and makan 'ngau lam min' then go back shower and come back to Rawang.

We do that every single year I can predict what we're gonna do in Johor.

Some pictures taken in Kluang.

It's completely safe to take pictures at the kubur in morning, right?

One of them came down to KL, met a girl, got married, and popped me out. *Gosh, that sounds so vulgar* No offense to you pa, I love you the same. Haha.

<3 Love the atmosphere of the place. Very old skool. They served very tasty Kopi and Roti Bakar, unlike those over rated Kopitiam at The Curve that charged you a fortune for their sucky food.

Sis and I.

It was a tummy and fun filled trip! Come back without any weight gain surprisingly!
I'm a happy bunny!

Finally, 2 pieces (liang zhang)

2007-04-03T22:26:00.000+08:00

The party turned out better than I expected. So I wanna grab this chance and express my great gratitude towards every single one of you out there who made my night such a memorable one.

Few years ago, I had a birthday party.
But I was too caught up with my personal issue to actually have fun and spend time with my friends. So I told myself I would not repeat the same mistake again this year.

Wish I made a decent host this time and everybody enjoyed themselves.

Now, the picture galore.

Only 3 of my Kepong besties made it, although I was sad, but it kinda showed that they're really my true friends and they were willing to go through all the troubles to make it to my party.

These bunch knows how to make themselves at home. No need to eleborate.

And what a pleasant surprise I got! Bikini from Chen Yet, Lim, Alan, Caryn, Hui Wen, Irene and Ai Ting. Stupid Chen Yet put that damn 2 piece in a cake box and I stuffed it into the fridge! Either way, I love the gift. Thanks people! Mwah~

Wanna thank my parents for the night, with lots of fun, presents and cash! Haha...

Cousiez:

Note: Boyfriend had a bad hair day so I don't want to post any pictures up la k.

The actual birthday was spent with my beloved angel, since she ffk me on Saturday. Watched Perfume with two of her friends, lunched at La Manila Cafe and of course, shopping. Thanks for the super cute XOXO skirt you got for me, Ee Ling! I had a great time with you and once again, thanks for pampering with delicious cake, thrilling movie (where both of us had to hug together and share a jacket) and a loving birthday gift. And most important of all, quality time with you.

That's it folks, my 20th birthday.

2007-03-31T09:57:00.000+08:00

It will be a birthday party, where no friends attend.

A sad one.

A lonely one.

With half of them couldn't make it. Maybe they just don't like me, that's why they never want to come.

2007-03-26T22:07:00.000+08:00

Do you have someone, who will come and be your driver, eventhough he had less than 10 hours of sleep for the previous 2 days and worked for 10 hours?

Do you have someone, who will wait for you under the hot sun for an hour?

Do you have someone who will bring you all the way to Damansara so you can shop in a particular shop, but end up buying nothing at all?

Do you have someone who will do anything just to make you happy, eventhough he's absolutely clueless about being romantic?

Do you have someone who get 10/10 correct for a quiz about yourself?

Do you have someone who will love you no matter what, whether you're being a whiny bitch or selfish dragon lady, but will still be there to catch you when you fall?

I do.

Nak Lagi...Nak Lagi...

2007-03-24T11:18:00.000+08:00

Remember the Maggi contest Kenny Sia blogged about last month?

Vincent joined and please my dear beloved readers, go vote for him!!!
Sign up as a Maggi user and...

VOTE VOTE VOTE!

2007-03-22T18:11:00.000+08:00

Been absent for quite some time, partly because I've been extremely busy and also due to the fact that I finally got my own login which forbids me from surfing the net! Bengang...

Anyway,
I got 4.0 for my STPM!
(although I bet most of you guys already know)

Guess what? I appeared on national TV that night itself. Urgh, I looked so freaking ugly I would rather they edit me out. Just a few seconds of fame la.

Celebration will be on 31st March at my place, guests have been shortlisted by ME! =p To make it low key abit, I'll inform those who are invited personally instead of posting your big names in my blog.

Went to Kim Gary to have a small celebration with my peeps last Saturday. Kononye say wanna go to the Education Exhibition, but Li En and I only wanna go hunt down all the shops in Mid Valley. Haha.

Grins on our silly faces. Hardwork finally paid off.
We survived STPM! (run around singing Destiny's Child's Survivor)

Still,
Now we're pulling our hairs to decide which course to apply. An important crossroad in our lives. But I know no matter what path we choose to take, we, the Form 6 survivors will definitely make it through til the end.

Lost

2007-03-13T13:04:00.000+08:00

Results in 2 days.

Thought I should know what I want to do with my future by now.
BUT I DONT.

Urgh.

Whatever happened to the, "I'll take these 2 years in form 6 to figure out my niche"?
It's clearly unapplicable now.

Pharmacy is not the right choice, but it's the first choice that comes into mind.

For someone who's so talkative and always deprived of human contact like me, will dealing with drugs 24/7 be suitable for me?

Maybe I should just switch to arts and take up business management or accounts instead. With my uncle's reputation in the corperate world, he might be able to help me out after I graduate from uni so I don't have to start from scratch.

But,
I don't like working in an office either! =( I'm so picky la, will somebody just kill me already?

Dealing with tax everyday is enough for me to go haywire. So tough la, I got like ZERO idea of what tax computation, balance sheet, income statement, revenue, depreciations and yada yada yada are about.

Talk about starting from scratch.

*stop rambling nonscense bunny*

Lost is not the right word, but it's the first word that comes into mind.

Maybe EMO is the right word.

2007-03-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

Being the pessimist that I am, I'm not getting my hopes up although I really really really wish I'll do well this time. My past has taught me that I never had much luck in government exams. UPSR, 6 As 1 D. SPM, 11As, 1 B for EST!

*cross fingers*

2007-03-11T10:57:00.000+08:00

Hope you guys like the new layout. Becky Bloomwood is back, so I gotta do someting to honour her.

By the way,

(Time to trim my hideous eyebrows. The boyfriend took a lousy shot of me where my head looked so huge)

Happy 1st anniversary to me and Vin!
My first ever serious relationship survives for a year! *applause*

Too lazy to go out on a Sunday, so we celebrated our anniversary one day earlier at Mid Valley. Our love was celebrated at Manhattan Fish Market where we indulged ourselves in a Giant Seafood Platter!

Fish fillet+oysters+sotong+shrimps+chips+butter rice=???

VERY HAPPY & FAT BUNNY.

Full and satisfied, we caught the movie 300.

Shame on me for falling asleep at the beginning of the movie. Haha.
But it got so good at the end! The whole movie is truly a work of art. 300 is full of beautiful graphics, stylish fighting choreography, amazing cinematography and so-so casts.

One thing though...
It's funny how people from the other end of the world imagined what Asians were like thousand years ago. They portrayed Asians like the Orcs in Lord of The Rings, with deformed features and blistered skins. Immortals. I wish Asians are immortals too.

Oh yeah,
We also have gigantic beasts and creatures like the elephants and rinosoraus that died at one stab to the head.

The Persian King, looked like Dhalsim from Street Fighter II.

The scene when Ephialtes kneeled down to Xerxes, reminded me of Dusk Til Dawn where George Clooney, Quentin Tarentino and their hostages entered a club full of vampires.

Guess what? I actually knew about the Battle of Thermopylae! =p ~~OK la, it was mentioned at the Last Samurai la~~

Battle movies and me are like a love hate relationship. I lurve the part where the armies fight at the battlefield, but I hate it when my favourite heroes die. =(

Enough of a spoiler...

After the movie we went to Taman Tasik Titiwangsa, hoping to have a romantic stroll in the evening.

Guess I should stop complaining that my boyfriend is a hopeless no romantic, since I realized strollling at the park is not my kinda thing too. It's hot and sunny and I gotta bring the umbrella with me during the whole walk. Malunya...haha.

The EYE is so overrated and expensive we just couldn't spend 30 bucks on that thing. Dining at Jalan Alor where you can have delicious Char Kuey Teow and Fried Carrot Cake for only $12 was a much better alternative to spend an evening together.

What's important is, we both had a wonderful time together. Love you lotz, baby and may we have lots of lots of anniversaries to come!

What are we today?

2007-03-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

Last week I finally got the chance to meet up with my beloved Ka Yan whom I've not seen in 2 years!

This girl came all the way from Kuala Kangsar to KL to get a job while waiting for her STPM results like me. The whole afternoon was spent lunching at Madam Kwan's & Nandos and catching up with her horrifying encounters during her stay at KL.

Case 1:
The Low Yatt Sushi King supervisor treated her like hell, and she had to work like a cow. Starting from 12 in the afternoon and work til 11pm at night! She was only there as a cashier but because of the yong sui supervisor that caused most of the waitress' there resigned, she had to do 4 persons' jobs instead.

Case 2:
Her collegue offered her $100 and asked her to sleep with him. What the Fuck. What's wrong with these people nowadays?!?

Case 3:
There's this super old 60 year old man came and wanted to be my friend's SUGAR DADDY. Meaning want to 'bao' her like that. Went to that Sushi King for lunch and dinner every single day, and demanded my friend to serve him. He even asked her to follow him to Phuket (the Canadian asked me to go to Singapore with him) and told her he came back after one day because he missed her so much.

I wish I could just cut his balls off and stitch it back to his dick and yank it off again and repeat the same process for a million times.

Want to get laid go Chowkit la, stupid horny fuckers.

Thank God I didn't get the Starbucks job.

Sue Me Please

2007-03-08T15:29:00.000+08:00

I'm a STALKER.

Sue me for reading every single blog available online while doing my crappy job at the same time. Bimbo blog, political blog, funny blog...

You name it.
I read it.

Oh yeah, I blog when I'm working too. Like right now. But it's ok, I'm pretty positive that my bloss wouldn't come across this place.

Wakaka.

Ain't I the best employee in the world?

A special shoutout to my girl

2007-03-05T23:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY!!!

I heart <3 this beautiful soul very very muchie. Still as blunt and sarcastic like how I remember you were 9 years ago. Nothing much has changed accept that our friendship keeps on growing stronger and stronger.

Love you.
Happy 20th birthday darling. Muackz~!

2007-03-04T11:48:00.000+08:00

I got through my new job for a week. Bravo.

Thank God for the amount of workloads that numb me til I forgot about the loneliness and isolation at the new workspace.

It's long established that I'm this bimbo-ish attention seeker.

No surprise knowing that when there's no one to socialize with at the new environment made me miserable and upset.

After working for 2 months++, I foresee the inevitable obstacles that I'll have to face after graduating from uni, and stepping into the working world for real.

First is to accept the fact that you're a NOBODY, before you become a SOMEBODY.

People will be treating you as a NOBODY unless you try so hard until your brain juice will start oozing out from your ears to prove to them that you, are capable of being that SOMEBODY.

At least that's how I feel working in the coperate world. Or maybe I'm just too young to take all these in in such a short time. Gone were those we're all friends at school, replaced by the cold hearted brutal backstabbing society.

Okla, I still haven't encountered any backstabbing la, but you know what I mean.

3 more months to go and it feels like a dread.

UM marathon

2007-03-02T12:34:00.000+08:00

Want to shred off those extra unwanted fats you gained over the CNY period?

There's a UM marathon coming up this Sunday. Those who are interested please let me know. Coz I wanna go and I don't wanna go alone la.

Busy making money

2007-03-02T09:44:00.000+08:00

Work at the new place has been an overwhelming experience.

I guess it's hard to get use to the fact that I got no boss to pamper me now.

Yeo people

2007-02-25T13:59:00.000+08:00

It's all about the EEOs this time.

A belated shoutout to Ai Ting, a very best friend I've known since I was born. Glad to know that you're happy now, and I hope this happiness will teman you forever so Kenneth better behaves well. Haha.

Lunch at TGI Friday's. Our first time there, and their desserts are delicious! Super extremely high in calories, of course. =(

T6 reunited although missing our moo moo! I'm sure her spirit was somewhere in the restaurant, drooling over our delicious food.

A classic candid shot with my K750i. Can't help it.

Then, it was Ping Ting's 21st birthday bash yesterday at her grandma's house. Had a blast as well, catching up with some old friends whom I usually meet once a year. Haha. Sorry guys for not having open house this year, I'm just lazy.

The birthday girl and I.

Missing Chien and Caryn this time. Chien was back to Kedah and Caryn, aih...need not say much.

So, Chinese New Year is coming to an end. Got lots of money, gain lots of weight ~~Lipo tea you better freaking work~~, and have lots of fun. Time to get back to work tomorrow. New job, new people, new start!

Me, A Weirdo/My Ex-Boss

2007-02-19T09:42:00.000+08:00

Syer tagged me because she thinks I'm weird.

How come I'm only allowed to write 6 weird things about myself when I have a dozen?

Anyway...

1. I love to check girls out. More than guys. Guys are boring nowadays, they're usually super small size and I tend to look like a giant standing beside them.

2. All my flesh is flabby. My cousins call me 'dou fu ren' as in tofu human and they like to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze my body. Abusive!

3. You know they say the length from your elbow to your wrist equals to the length of your foot? Guess what? My hand is way much longer. Everyone says my feet cannot support my body.

4. I have huge pelvic bone. Once I was lying on the couch and I asked my dad what's the thing that's poking out in my pants. My dad said WALLET.

5. I wish I'm anorexic sometimes too, Syer! Or have diorrhea all the time, so I can have a flat tummy.

6. I hate my dentist. I thought I'll have perfect straight teeth after being stuck with braces for more than 2 years, that's the whole point of having braces right? No, my stupid dentist failed to grant me that. Instead, I think I'll have to fork out another $2000 to pay for a private dentist instead to fix my teeth.

Now I tag Ai Ting, Hui Wen, Irene, Caryn, Lim, and Subhen!

PS: Chien if you're reading, don't get jealous because I didn't tag you. It's because you never update your blog anymore! Hehe.

Digressing...

I left AmBank Group last Friday. So sad you know, to leave my wonderful boss and super helpful and nice collegues.

Although my boss knew I'm leaving him, he still treated me so well. Last time he belanja-ed us at Kamikura.

Then before the arrival of CNY, he insisted to belanja us again at Yau Kee. And he gave me a $100 ang pau! More than my parents give me!!! Aih...such great boss where to find right?

I Confess

2007-02-17T11:29:00.000+08:00

I HATE Valentine's Day.

Ok, maybe not hate.
But I definitely dislike this overrated overprice overcrowded so-called special Day.

You may think I'm jealous but I am seriously not. I got flower and a gift and went out for dinner.

My baby and I went out around 6 and ended up eating at 10!!!!
Wanted to dine at Manhattan Fish Market initially but guess what? The normal cutsie Dorrie fish I have for RM18.90 cost RM49.90 on that night! Some more the moment you stepped into the restaurant they charge you 49.90 per pax. Fucking man slaughterer.

Then we walked to San Francisco Steakhouse and they offered the same service.

Chili's had a one hour waiting list. CRAZY.

I decided to settle for Madam Kwan since the food there are nice and not really pricey. But the boyfriend thought it was sad to spend our first Valentine's Day together at a typical not romantic at all chinese restaurant. Gek Sei me, I was already damn hungry.

No choice, he drove us to Cheras to CowBoy Steak Delight. The place was rather romantic where it was open air, on top of the slope, next to the high way. Too bad there was no live band that night, Vin said they usually have.

And the amount of people over there was scary. The waiting and waiting and waiting pissed me off. That's the moment where I decided myself that I hate Valentine's Day.

It's super sangat terlalu overrated.

Next year I'll just make my baby some homemade sandwiches and go for a picnic at Taman Titiwangsa or whatever. Or stay in, cuddle up and watch some funny stupid Cameron Diaz movie. And eat lots of ice-cream.

Visit Malaysia 2007

2007-02-10T10:01:00.000+08:00

I encountered something creepy yesterday.

When I was on my way to KLCC to get my beloved GUESS? purse, I met this Canadian tourist while crossing the road at the Jalan Sultan Ismail junction.

*Since this dude doesn't have an email address, I highly doubt that he will come across my blog, so I'll just lash out everything here!

He was complaining how ridiculous Malaysia's traffic was, because we still can't get across the road after waiting for more than 5 minutes.

"Why do you need traffic police when you have traffic lights?"
"If everybody respects the traffic lights, this wouldn't have happen!"
"Ridiculous!"
"You will never find this in Canada!"
"If you go to Canada, you'll never want to leave that country!"

Well, this year is Visit Malaysia 2007, as a patriotic Malaysian who cherish her tanah air dearly, I feel obligated to stand up for my own country as well while being nice to this tourist at the same time.

"The traffic police is only here during rush hour I guess. Just incase there's one lane empty and another lane is jammed."

Then,
He told me there's no such thing. Nevermind la, he's damn patriotic also la.

Sometimes I wish I could be less nicer. =p This Canadian and I started walking towards KLCC, chatting all the way long. Then he began all his compliments, saying I'm very nice, friendly, pretty and yada yada yada. At first I thought he was just being nice...

Then.
He starts getting all creepy...

"You know, somtimes when you meet someone, it's the personaility that's important. The first impression."
"Doesn't matter what background they're from."
"Why don't you follow me to Singapore?"
"If you come to Canada, I will never let you stay in the hotel."
"If you see someone you really like for the first time, you can even make love!"
"Can I see you tomorrow?"
"Will you be my girlfriend?"

What. The. Fuck.

This old, balding, short Canadian is seriously fucked up. Brain damage ke whatever, go get a neurologist to check it out or something.

Come on, I'm all dressed up like a professional lady who just got out of work, do I look like a fucking hooker to you?

I quickly told him I have to meet someone before he could ask me out for a coffee. To shrug him off, I asked for his email address so I will never ever in my entire life sned him an email. He doesn't have one. He doesn't even have a freaking phone!

Which part of jungle in Canada you're from mister? The woods behind the all so famous Nigara Falls?

Thanks for visiting Malaysia.

Go screw yourself old folk.

The Waiter

2007-02-04T11:19:00.000+08:00

Guess what I did on Friday evening?

I walked from Bukit Bintang to the KL KTM station!!!

For people who don't know me that well, I'm THAT crazy. Wakaka....

Watching 5 buses passing by with a Rapid KL pass in our hands. Only my BELOVED BROTHER will be kind enough to LAYAN me like that.

All I Want For New Year

2007-02-03T09:51:00.000+08:00

A pair of new heels. Still looking for the right pair, something that look like this --->

A new purse! The one my cousins and siblings got me last year already damn 'can'! ROXY punye barang tak tahan lama pun!!!! So bengang. I begged my mom to let me use her old Renoma purse but she dowan...so kiamsiap. GUESS is having 40% discount on purse, still contemplating whether I should fork out my own money to get it or not. (Valentine's just around the corner hor?)

And the sexy leopard print top...hehe..roar! =p

Still missing a hot sexy corset top! I spotted one in the Mid Valley MNG that day, damn nice la...70 bucks. Haha, I'm too kiamsiap to spend my own money.

MY VERY OWN HARD EARNED MONEY! Finally, I'm not this useless daddy money sucker anymore.

Sei Lo

2007-01-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

I'm addicted to ice-cream. Out of all the foods in the world!

Tried Lecka Lecka yesterday but it tasted like Walls. Damn bengang, thought the ice-cream would make my day but it failed!!!!

I wanted to get Baskin Robbins today but I managed to stop myself! Great achievement right? Too bad I'm staying overnight at my aunt's place and guess what? Buds ice-cream in the fridge.

Next week I want to take advantage of Baskin's 31% and get the Pint ice-cream. But that's like so fattening! Makan so much fat! Planning to shred 1 to 2 more kgs before CNY geh, aih.

Nevermind, starting from this moment on I'm gonna stop myself from eating anything fattening til CNY! Hopefully I can be 47 by then, around 2 kgs only, I think I can reach my goal geh...

2007-01-27T00:30:00.000+08:00

You only get to work 36 hours a week at the Starbucks opposite AmBank Group. That means you work 6 hours a day and let say you get paid for 5 bucks per hour, you'll only get 600++ a month. Die la like that.

I got a better offer somewhere else, but my boss wanted to stay. Turn out I won't be toss to another corner when my haven't-met collegue returns from her maternity leave, I will be working side by side with my boss! He promised to teach me as much stuffs as he could so my stay at Ambank wouldn't be boring like now. Nice boss really, but could it beat the money?

Urgh! I hate to be in this kinda situation. I hate making decisions.

But I guess at the end of the day, one's gotta take control of his/her own life and make the decision and live up to its consequences.

Tried discussing about my problems with my parents, and I hate it so much that my mom solves problem by screaming at you. She couldn't just be calm and give you advise in the motherly way. She thinks I'm anooying because I keep on bugging her with the same problem everytime I come back from work. She said I got no 'koli' and shouldn't be complaining about my pay.

Come on la, if money is not the matter why work in the first place right? It's not like I quit because of the money! It's because I got a better offer!

I swear to myself I won't tell her anything regarding to my work problem, EVER AGAIN. Since she is never much help. And I'm not a big fan of screaming.

It's time for me to grow up and muster the courage to make my own decision.

Dilemma again.

2007-01-23T21:30:00.000+08:00

Work is the least fascinating thing in my life right now.

I've always wanted to be a barista at Starbucks. Adores the coffee and loves the atmosphere. And the one opposite my work place is looking for new barista!

Unfortunately, if I kena the night shift, I'll face transport problem. The pay might not be any better than my current salary, but at least I'll be dealing with people other than figures and computers.

Somemore ar...now I'm sitting at one of my haven't-met collegue's place (she's on maternity leave til next weeek) After she comes back, I'll be tossed to another place that's far far away from my collegues! Now all sit together also don't chat much, when I'm isolated that time I think I'll wanna die!

PS: I pressed 1500++ COPY-PASTE in 2 days.
Should I quit and go bancuh coffee?